Stop Playing Victim To The Circumstances YOU Created
You have more control than you think.
Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock We love to complain, but we don't love to change. But don't play the victim to circumstances you created.
I see it time and time again, with myself and the people around me. We can talk all day about how hard everything is and how much it sucks, but then we just go back to it all and don't do anything different.
Don't play the victim to circumstances you created even though playing the victim card is one of our favorite things to do because it makes us feel like we don't have to do anything about our situation.
Living in the role of victim will only make you sad and bitter. If you want the life, love and relationship that you deserve, than you're going to have to work at it.
Instead of complaining about our relationship problems, let's talk about solutions.
1. Is your situation too toxic to fix? Then leave. Break up. Move on.
Do you and your boyfriend have communication issues? Then see a therapist or figure out a way to work on it.
Have you been chronically single and you can't figure out how to get a guy to stick around? Read a self-help book or adjust your attitude. Stop blaming everyone else and reflect to see what's really going on.
2. Nothing changes until you do.
The first step in going from complaints to real change is a shift in perspective. So try to jump out of the victim mentality. You have to be able to see your situation differently in order to think differently about it. You've been looking through the same bitter lens for too long — it's time for something new.
3. Having gratitude for what you already have is a quick way to gain a new perspective and outlook on your life.
Keep a journal or a note in your phone where you can right down all the things you currently love about your relationship, and look at them when you feel yourself getting sour.
When you're more appreciative of what you have now, you'll have a better outlook for your future and what it all could bring. You start being hopeful rather than cynical and are more open to change instead of being stubborn.
It's easy to sit around and be pissed.
4. It doesn't take guts, courage, or strength to just b*tch and moan about what you don't like.
But it does take real character and effort to make a change.
So stop being the victim, and start being the hero. Your life can only get better — and more interesting — in the process.
Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships and everything in between. You can follow her on Instagram, Twitter or on her website at www.emily-blackwood.com.