What Men REALLY Think Of A Woman's 'Vaginal Discharge'

It started innocently enough, as most things do when the YourTango writers and editors start talking. We sharing phrases that made us shudder or cringe. The word "moist" was on the list (naturally), along with "having a beef with" (sorry, Sabrina). Then, it happened.

Someone mentioned cream. 

More to the point, someone said, "Cream your jeans". 

I found myself gagging and giggling uproariously as the conversation devolved (or evolved, depending on your point of view). 

It's funny how the wetness of a vagina can be something that me, a lover of vaginas, wrinkles her nose at hearing about. 

Unfortunately, I think that's pretty normal for a girl. We're taught that our vaginas are embarrassing and dirty, something to be ashamed of, not to revel in. 

A guy ejaculates and it's a sign of his health and prowess. A woman squirts and scientists are still debating about whether or not it even really happened. 

Are guys as hung up on the cream in our jeans as we are? There was only one way to find out. As so, I turned to Facebook with a totally anonymous questionnaire to get the heart of things.

Here's what I found out:

Guys, Is there such a thing as being TOO wet? Does volume, smell, color make you feel different things?

By and large (with one monosyllabic exception) the answer was a resounding NO:

• "Not really. I'm a big fan of "lots".
• "Funky is good as long as it's clean funky. An untended to vag is gross, and, frankly, impolite to someone who is going to spend as much time down there as I am.
• Volume, to me, is an indicator of how well I'm doing. I've always wanted to cause a "squirt". Although, the debate as to whether or not that's a real thing rages on," said one respondent. "I love it when I'm all in there and you can feel a huge surge of juices on my penis, fingers, or face. It makes me push back with even more gusto."

Other respondents were positive, but wary.

Said one, "If there is, I haven't seen it yet. The words 'volume, smell, and color' make me wonder if I've just been lucky though."

What do you think of a woman who produces more discharge when they are aroused?

This time the response was universally positive. This is probably because guys like knowing when they're doing something "right."

• This respondent nailed it in one, "All cars should have accurate gas gauges and accelerometers." I don't love having my Joanie loves Chachi compared to a car, but I'll take it.
• Put more succinctly by another respondent, "that makes me super-happy." 

Share your best girl-orgasm story with us?

I learned a lesson here, and it is that guys really love making women orgasm AND they really love talking about it.

But, in the immortal words of Reading Rainbow, don't take my word for it:

• "I was at a girls [sic] house and, at the risk of being too descriptive," said one respondent,  "there was a bit of a puddle in the center of her bed after I had performed oral sex on her."
• "After we were done with everything she asked if I would let her cat back into the room since that's where the cat's food and water dish were. Cat runs into the room, and as I'm getting dressed (it was the afternoon) I look over and see the cat sniff and then start to lick the puddle. I pointed this out (standard "uuuuuuuhhhhhhmmm" and point technique) and the girl turned red, quickly shoo'ed the cat away and said 'sorry, she's new. Didn't know she was a freak like that.'"
• "Not [ejaculate] but something else down there," said another. "Went down on a girl and there was a fleck of doodie down there. Must have moved around in her underwear after a meaty fart. I flicked it away like a paper football. She asked what happened and I said nothing. Then I ate her [her out] with the same eager and joy I bring to eating pizza."  You cannot fault the man for his enthusiasm.
• And finally, "I don't know if I have one story in particular, but I will say that I love [oral sex] in the morning and then leaving the house without showering. The flavor saving effects of my beard let me reminisce on my early morning victory all day. She [orgasms] every time."

Girl-discharge-loving gentleman of America, we the women of Earth salute you.