What The Shape Of Your Vagina Tells People About Your Personality And Sex Life

While no woman's vagina is exactly the same, the general shape of her vaginal opening is pretty consistent. There's a reason we all laugh at shoes, and caves, and pastries with ovular centers surrounding by ruffles: they look like vaginas. 

Of course there are variations. Some women are more narrow than others. Some, myself included, have pleasant plumper pubic mounds than others. Some have pronounced clitorises and others get a little shy. These differences are part of the glorious buffet of womanly front-bottoms.

We should celebrate our differences below the waist as much as we do above it. 

The shape of a woman's vagina has been in the news lately, with studies discussing how a woman's vagina shape effects her ability to orgasm. It got me thinking, what if there are vagina shapes we never hear about? Those possessors of unique holes that must live in darkness.

Those who have never once blushed while looking at a halved papaya. 

If your vagina is shaped like one of the shapes listed below, it says something very unique about your personality AND your sex life. 

1. Square

If your vagina is shaped like a square, it means one of two things. Either you are a lego lady who has come to life, or a Japanese botanist has been growing your vagina in a square mold as a novelty to sell in the grocery stores.

2. Diamond

If your vagina is shaped like a diamond, you are very focused on earthly things. You love jewels, crystals, and anything that sparkles. Your vagina has basically turned you into a magpie, and neither it nor you will rest until it has amassed great wealth. 

3. Oval 

If you vagina is oval shaped, it is trying to pass as an eye. It is tired of spending all of its time hidden between your legs in dark. It wants to see the world, and it's doing everything in its power to trick you into  letting loose on the world. Do not do this. 

4. Infinity Sign

Your vagina has no beginning and no end. This is good for when you're having sex, but very very bad when it comes to visiting the gynecologist. All sorts of shit gets lost up there. 

5. Horse 

If your vagina is shaped like a horse you should probably stop reading this and just like, go to the doctor. 

6. Thumbs Up

If your vagina is shaped like someone giving a thumbs up, you are a very enthusiastic person who loves life. You are probably aggressively positive which can be charming in small doses but aggressively irritating, too.