Woman Responds To Unwanted Dick Pic With Bigger Dick Pics & Becomes A Hero

On the long list of things that actually traumatize me, surprise d*ck pics from strangers is like, number four. 

There's just something about being caught off guard by a rogue penis that makes me want to shove my iPhone down a garbage disposal and be off the grid forever. Though penises have been terrorizing women for centuries, social media has given us a new platform for shaming these genital-obsessed weirdos in a way that hopefully makes them think twice about even texting an eggplant emoiji. 

The latest victim to fight back her virtual attacker was writer Samantha Mawdsley, who made the mistake of posting a restaurant review on Facebook.

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Giiiiirl, you should have known better than that!!! Obviously giving four stars to your local McDonalds because you just had a life changing McDouble screams "SEND ME YOUR PENIS PLZ!!! LOL!!" 

​On Mawdsley's review, a formerly innocent James leaves a comment telling her to read his Facebook message because he would like to know her opinion. While she may have thought he was wondering her thoughts on Burger King's Whopper, the exchange quickly turned heinous and opening the message could possibly be one of her biggest life-long regrets. 

Watch the horror unfold: 

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1. Sends penis, compliments eyes.

The sad part is that this would have been a nice message to get if it was sans-penis. 

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2. Female hero responds with monster penis 

Penis assailant is ironically taken aback by such vulgarity. 

3. Penis sender gets angsty, confused by pop culture reference

He doesn't like it when the tables are turned, INTERESTING. 

4. Mawdsley recommends some medical attention

Because everyone knows sending random penises is a "nice" gesture. 

5. Mawdsley reciprocates his kindness — with more penises. 

He can't be mad right?? She's being soooooo nice. 

6. He decides now is good time to play the "crazy" card 

I have no words. 

6. More well-deserved harrassment 

Oh, he doesn't like it??? HOW WEIRD IS THAT??

Mawdsley: 1; Penises: 0.