5 Hilariously True Ways Being A Mom Makes You Sexy As HELL

By Laura Lifshitz

The whole "MILF" thing is really unnecessary. I mean, everyone knows that moms are sexy 24/7. We don't need a special title of "MILF" or "Cougar Mom" to embrace our sexiness. There are so many reasons that motherhood just immediately makes you one sexy mutha f*cker, in the words of the late, great Prince.

Buckle up, sexy momma! Let's discuss some reasons being "mother" to one or many makes you so darn hot!

1. Nothing like a squirt.

Squirting breast milk everywhere like a fountain? Leaking when you hear babies cry? Rock-hard breasts that feel like boulders on your sternum?

Oh yes, porn stars everywhere are jealous of the nursing mom or the mom whose milk has finally come in. There's nothing sexier than that! Truly. Now, is that a statement piece you're wearing or did you leak again?

2. Embrace your everyday wear.

Remember when you spent hours shopping for looks for da club? Yeah, now you're rocking some serious pajamas and yoga pants. You might be a contestant for that site People of Walmart, but your true friends won't tell you how bad you look.

Sleep deprivation makes you a bit nasty, no? That sexy yoga pant get-up and spit-up t-shirt just says, "Ooh-la-la," in a way that those old tight dresses and half-shirts simply didn't. They spell confidence and lack of pretense! So, so sexy...

3. You're on fire!

Some people find an angry woman hot. This means that when you've finally lost your cool and you start to yell—GASP—yes, yell, in the middle of the grocery store or in a parking lot because your kid did something stupid, you're so fired up that people find you sexy! That angry mom right there? I bet she's powerful in bed... said all the boys... right?

4. Baggage, baggage, baggage.

Remember when you were set on everything matching—your accessories to your outfit? It was important that you had the right bag to match that new dress you bought so it didn't "distract" from your curves. Well, now you've got mega curves and scintillating ways with your diaper bag, dance bag, soccer bag, extra wipes, kids' snacks, and then some!

All of that baggage makes you look like a woman who's organized and put together! What a sexy woman. Her back doesn't hurt, nope... not one bit.

5. Talk to me.

Oh, your college partner loved when you said the naughtiest things in bed. You were such a wild cat! But when you open your mouth now, you're so sweet. You use polite words and say sweet things and repeat yourself—like a cat that meows in heat. It's so sexy, that sweet little voice of yours. You remind every passerby of a sweet schoolgirl...