We Tried ALL The 7 Classic Sex Positions (Guess Which One Wins????)

In our 15 years of marriage, we've experienced a lot of trial and error when it comes to our sex life. We have yet to perfect shower sex (so slippery!) and both of us have always given the 69 position a smarmy side-eye. It's one thing to try something out on a one-night stand; it's another to do them with the same person every week for the last decade and a half (that's 780 weeks to be exact).

I can promise you this: If you find a way to effectively communicate with your spouse about what you like during sex, you won't really need a thousand different positions throughout your lifetime — only a few good ones. (You know, the ones where you fit together perfectly and move to make each other gasp and sigh all the way to the blissful end.)

Yeah, that's married sex right there...and it's amazing. Here are 7 classic sex positions that we've done over and over and over — and our assessment of how they stand the test of time.

1. Missionary

Her Ranking: 10/10

His Ranking: 10/10

Wife: Oh! This is the one where I feel the most safe and loved and knowing it's his favorite makes it even better. There's apparently a bazillion variations on missionary, but in our bed it simply means he's on top of me, our faces are facing each other (allowing for maximum kissing and whispering), and everyone cums out happy. 

Husband: This is the position that seems to get mocked the most for being the too vanilla,but in reality it's the most perfect and hottest position. While in missionary position, I can get a full view of my wife's naked body as I hold myself above her or I can get in close and kiss on her neck. Or I can go lower and nibble on her nipples, or just look her in the eyes as she lay on her back with her legs spread just begging me to f*ck her.

2. Girl On Top

Her Ranking: 6/10

His Ranking: 8/10

Wife: I'd be lying if I said being on top didn't make me a little self-conscious at times — all that bouncing and wiggling. But if there's one thing that gets me off, it's watching my husband lick and suck my nipples. And there's no better vantage point than right above him, dangling them in his face (and maybe smothering him or slapping him around with them on occasion). 

Husband: One of my favorites because I get to lay back and enjoy the show, and there are few shows as fascinating as the upper half of a woman — the neck, the collarbone, the hanging boobs. Add her long, flowing hair hanging down and slightly brushing against my face and shoulders, and I can relax my way all the way to the end. 

3. Doggy Style

Her Ranking: 9/10

His Ranking: 7/10

Wife: To all those husbands who claim they can never wake their wives up to bone, I give you doggy style. I don't have to do anything but put my rear in the air and enjoy a good humping. No worries about morning breath or what my puffy sleep face may look like. Bonus points if he holds me down or shoves my face into the mattress. And when it's all over I can flop back down and go to sleep.

Husband: Doggy style in porn looks amazing while watching from the side or from the front of the girl but in real life I find myself wanting to switch to another position so I can see my wife's face and, well ... her boobs. However, doggy style is the go-to position when trying to sneak in a quickie upstairs before the kids downstairs notice we're no longer watching the family movie with them.

4. Reverse Cowgirl

Her ranking: 0/10

His ranking: 4/10

Wife: I never understood this one. Let's take all the insecurities from the front and only make them your butt. You can't see each other, the angles are off and I'm just looking at his feet. There's absolutely no graceful way to get into this position. Believe me — I've tried. I get that a lot of people like it but for me it's pure novelty. 

Husband: The cowgirl has the same problem as doggy style and you have to figure out how to make the angles work. But reverse cowgirl is the best position to let me experience my dirty fantasy of a woman jerking me off with her vagina. 

5. 69

Her ranking: 4/10

His ranking: 5/10

Wife: In theory? Sure. But it's kind of like rubbing your head and patting your tummy: just because you can doesn't mean you should. 

Husband: Another one of those positions that looks hot as hell in porn, but in reality it's awkward and not as enjoyable as it should be. It's one of the dirtier and kinkier positions but if the heights don't fit within that perfect ratio, it can lead to a strained neck or a penis bent in the wrong direction.

6. Standing

Her ranking: 6/10

His ranking: 6/10

Wife: I feel this to be the most misrepresented of the sexual positions, at least for the height difference between my husband and myself. It would be super-handy if standing worked for us but it's just a recipe for danger, disaster, and really sore quads and calves. Now, doggy style standing up? Gimme! I'm very bendy. 

Husband: I'm always interested in standing sex because it usually means we're so interested in each other that we can't wait until we're in the bed upstairs. The problem? Assuming the height difference wasn't an issue, there's not enough thrusting power or available speed from the standing position, and I need speed and power.

7. Spooning

Her ranking: 5/10

His ranking: 6/10

Wife: Another good one to wake me up with. This is our total go-to for lazy, cozy morning sex. (You know, the kind you go back to sleep after then wake up and do again?) 

Husband: This one is great for when we're in a loving mood or we're both really tired and neither really wants to put in the effort of holding ourselves up. The position makes it difficult to have anything but just slow, casual, lazy sex,because it's just too difficult to get much motion while laying on my side.