The Tell-Tale Signs Your Relationship Is Abusive — And It's Time To Walk Away
You need to do this for YOU.
getty At first, he was perfect — he seemed to adore you, complimented you, and wanted to be with you ALL the time. His jealousy was cute and made you feel loved. The late-night phone calls checking on you made you feel cared for and protected. You were amazed when he didn’t hesitate to move in with you — in fact, he was eager!
How could this be bad?
According to dating coach Nancy Nichols in the YourTango Expert video above, these behaviors aren’t really as innocent as they might seem. In fact, they can be downright dangerous and be signs of a destructive or abusive relationship.
It might not seem like it at first, but eventually, what used to be his endearing little quirks can become worrisome red flags. They morph into tell-tale signs of abusive relationships and indicate that you need to leave your relationship — stat!
Suddenly and increasingly, he starts to hate your friends and doesn’t want you to spend time with them anymore. He might claim that they hate him or that he’s worried that they’re trying to come between the two of you. He’ll become withdrawn and sullen around your family.
He acts loving one minute, then angry the next — over something ridiculously petty. He tells you he loves you, then says something cruel about you or your appearance. He’s controlling, possessive, and jealous. He blames you or others for everything that goes wrong in his life. And after he lashes out in fury, he’ll blame you and then apologize profusely.
Do any of these scenarios sound all too familiar?
Should you start thinking about how and when to leave your abusive relationship?
Like some nightmarish scene from a horror movie, life can become a series of confused extremes when you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells — fearful of doing something that will set him off, or even just draw his attention when you’ve said something wrong or done something that he suddenly claims to hate.
If you’ve tried to leave, he may promise to change, but it never lasts. He’s only behaved just long enough to suck you back into the relationship and perhaps gaslight you to convince you that you’re the one who’s crazy or wrong.
Tragically, in a situation like this, you can lose your sense of self and begin a numb existence — helpless and wondering if you’ll ever escape this torture and abuse.
But what happens when you've finally had enough? When the time has come and your wilted spirit is crying for resurrection?
How do you get out of your destructive relationship without falling for his lies and crawling back to him again?
To learn more about how you can escape this awful relationship cycle, watch the YourTango Expert video above!
Nancy Nichols has some down-to-earth, practical advice on this topic and more. To learn about her work, visit her website. And don't forget to check out her trilogy, God Please Fix Me — it's a book series you won't soon forget.