Could You Date Someone You DIDN’T Think Was Smokin’ Hot?
He's (almost) perfect ... is that enough?
WeHeartIt Lets say you FINALLY found someone that "checks off" ALL your dating criteria ... he sounds like TOTAL perfection. It could be his personality, or maybe what he does for a living. Maybe you both have the same type of upbringing, similar religious beliefs, you both like to travel and eat amazing food, or — best of all — you make each other LAUGH hysterically.
You guys REALLY seem like the PERFECT match.
But even if he's all that and a bag of chips, there could still be one problem: You're not PHYSICALLY attracted to him. (OUCH.)
Or ... what if you haven't even met him yet?
Maybe you've browsed through your online dating site, checking out profile pictures and your first reaction is to skip everyone who doesn’t physically appeal to you — regardless of how high they rank in compatibility. You think to yourself, ‘Doesn’t everyone do that?’ Maybe you only look for someone who is as good looking as you think you are — or someone who is even better.
If sexual attraction is your highest priority in a relationship, is that something you should change? Is it in our DNA to instinctively be drawn to someone BEAUTIFUL, first thing?
Would you be willing to continue a relationship with someone who you aren't physically attracted to? Is it worth your time to give them a second (or third) chance to grow on you?
There can be other attributes just as alluring as someone's looks. They could make you laugh, appeal to your sense of security, or they could fit the criteria for what's important in your life at that time.
The biggest question still remains though: can chemistry with them EVOLVE, or does there have to be at least a little bit of that sexual spark to begin with?
Listen to our YourTango Experts’ lively discussion on this fascinating subject. Host Melanie Gorman (YourTango Experts Senior VP) joins our elite panel as they offer advice from a variety of educated male and female perspectives.
Helen Fisher, PHD (author, biological anthropologist), relationship and communications expert Fiona Fine, matchmaker and dating coach Jasbina Ahluwalia, and author and dating coach Gregg Michaelsen come at this subject from ALL angles and have some enlightening insights you’re sure to learn from.
If you are intrigued by this video and want more information, feel free to get in touch with Helen, Fiona, Jasbina and Gregg by visiting their websites — they’re eager to help!