Welcome To The Sleazy Spa Where People F*ck Underwater All Day Long

The Spa Castle in Queens is known for being New York City's largest spa, with 21 spa pools, a wading pool, hydrotherapy baths, high-tech steam rooms, saunas, and now, people having all kinds of underwater sex. And they claim to be family-friendly.

If Spa Castle pools weren't already closed due to the near-drowning of a six-year-old, The New York Post's reporting of rampant sexual activity happening there has definitely caused the Health Department to sit up and take notice.

Post reporter Christy Smith-Sloman writes, "During two recent visits, The Post found patrons in their birthday suits, groping each other, making out and having what appeared to be underwater sex. Last Sunday, the clientele ranged in age from toddlers to octogenarians. But that did not stop a group of five heavily tattooed twenty-somethings from engaging in splashy sexcapades in the two-foot-deep, heated wading pool on the second floor."

So gross. Can you imagine what's in that water besides chlorine? It really makes you want to wash off ... but not in their pool.

This isn't the first time that Spa Castle has been cited for violations from the Health Department. Between 2014 and 2015, the spa was cited 49 times, including failure to post signs prohibiting the discharge of bodily fluids in pools. Though, generally, that isn't the most effective way to make people behave.

"There's a big problem with customers having sex in the pools, and the management doesn't know how to handle it," said an anonymous staffer. "Practically every day, couples are caught having sex in the indoor and outdoor pools. They think they're being sly about it, but they're not. When you see somebody on someone's lap bouncing up and down and the jets aren't turned on, you know what's happening."

The wading pool is apparently where most of the inappropriate sex action happens — it's heated, equipped with underwater jets, and a swim-up bar, just like Las Vegas. You can get yourself a cocktail for the low price of $18, and there's also a kiddie pool where the sleazy behavior happens as well.

"I had to stop going on Saturdays because it was like a full-on, urban high-school orgy in the outdoor pool upstairs," said Whitney Ward, a 42-year-old Manhattan photographer. "In the outdoor pool I would see girls sitting on guys' laps and they would be bobbing up and down. It was pretty obvious they were having sex. I've also seen guys rubbing one out the wet way."

All photos: New York Post

It seems that some people have confused Spa Castle with the Playboy Mansion of the 1970s, where people were encouraged to have sex in the mansion's grotto. As far as I know, Spa Castle doesn't have a hot tub time machine, so if they want to have sex, they should probably do it somewhere it's legal.