5 Rare Qualities That Quietly Reveal A Psychopathic Mindset, According To Psychology
The ugly mind hiding behind a beautiful facade.
Mert Coşkun | Canva Have you ever been on a date with a psychopath? It would be hard to answer this question accurately because psychopaths are experts in disguise, and it can take a long time — months or even years — to see the full extent of the individual’s pathology.
Psychopaths can be male or female, though research shows that more men are psychopaths than women. Check out a few of the primary signs of a psychopath so that you can be educated about what they look like and how they act, and you can detect them as early as possible in the dating process. Keep in mind that there is no loving romantic relationship to be had with a psychopath.
While most people believe the psychopath cannot form an attachment with anyone, this isn’t exactly true. Some psychopaths do have an attachment to at least one person, and that person is often a mother or a grandparent who is loving and kind. Yet, when it comes to romantic relationships, there is little to no hope of having a decent relationship with a psychopath.
Here are the rare qualities that quietly reveal a psychopathic mindset:
1. Superficial charm
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Yes, many people are charming, but the psychopath is charming in a way that doesn’t quite add up. He is a storyteller and tells tales that always place him in a good light, and the stories don’t feel believable.
The most important point about the charm of the psychopath is that he often seems too smooth to be entirely real.
2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
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There is a significant overlap between narcissism and psychopathy. Every psychopath is narcissistic, but not every narcissist is psychopathic.
While narcissists are oriented around establishing themselves as superior in every situation, the psychopath is focused on having power over others and exploiting others to get their needs met. In general, the psychopath is far more dangerous than the narcissist because the psychopath doesn’t form true attachments and he feels no remorse, even for the most heinous, injurious behaviors.
Psychopaths often exhibit an exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior to others and deserving of special treatment. A 2020 study explained that they may boast about their real and exaggerated accomplishments and have a pervasive sense of entitlement.
3. Pathological lying
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The frequency and depth of lies with the psychopath are mind-blowing. The psychopath can manufacture a lie out of thin air, so quickly that you almost automatically believe him. The psychopath manufactures lies with extreme details, and you feel like he must be telling the truth because he goes to such lengths to defend his lies.
If you challenge the psychopath on a lie, watch out: He will not be happy, and he will find a way — direct or subtle — to punish you. Pathological lying can be a feature of psychopathy, but it's not a sole indicator.
While individuals with psychopathy often lie frequently and deceptively, not all pathological liars exhibit other traits associated with psychopathy. Research indicates that pathological lying can also be linked to other mental health conditions, personality disorders, and even motivations like insecurity or social status.
4. Lack of remorse or guilt
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Not feeling guilty or remorseful for doing something hurtful is part and parcel of the psychopathic package. The psychopath does what he wants, regardless of the effect on others.
It’s important to note that not all psychopaths are the same, meaning that there is a spectrum of psychopathic traits. Many people have some psychopathic traits — say, one or two of the characteristics listed here.
These individuals have personalities that are disordered to the point that they relate to people and have expectations that are out of sync with the rest of the world. They are frustrating and confusing to interact with, and it is extremely challenging to have a romantic relationship with them.
At the most severe end of the psychopathic spectrum, the psychopath has no conscience at all. These individuals will engage in the most vicious behaviors imaginable and they won’t think twice about it.
Research suggests that psychopathic individuals may have difficulty processing and responding to emotional cues, particularly those related to distress or suffering. This can lead to a reduced capacity to experience empathy, which is essential for understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
5. No empathy
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Lacking empathy is another issue you will see clearly and early on with the psychopath, regardless of where they fall on the spectrum. For example, if you tell a psychopath a story that upsets you or seriously hurts your feelings, the psychopath won’t have much of an emotional reaction. He may try to say or do something that sounds empathetic, but it feels shallow and false.
Psychopaths often study the emotional reactions of characters on TV or men and women in everyday life, trying to master how to convey emotions because psychopaths don’t feel a range and depth of emotions naturally.
The odds aren’t great that you will encounter a severe psychopath in your dating life, but they live and socialize in some of the same areas as you. Knowing the signs of a psychopath can help you detect these red flags quickly so that you never get to the point where you develop a real emotional attachment to a psychopath.
In the best case, the attachment will not be reciprocated; in the worst case, you could end up broke, depressed, or physically hurt.
If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
Dr. Seth Meyers is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, blogger, and TV guest expert. He treats a wide range of issues and disorders and specializes in relationships and parenting.
