What It's Like To Have Sex With A Guy With A GIGANTIC Penis

My first significant relationship was with a guy with an extra-large penis. You'd never know that he was packing heat just by looking at him, since he was on the short side and skinny. But trust me, it was quite the surprise when he released the beast.

His penis certainly was impressive. It it was enormous, nicely shaped, and polite, and it always stood up when a naked lady came into the room.

I was inexperienced at the time and the thought of having sex with someone so well-endowed was intimidating. I was in luck, though, as he was someone who knew how to work with his tool and was dedicated to giving his partner pleasure.

Over the course of our relationship, I learned how to appreciate his gift and he became the standard by which I judged all the men: large penises equaled the hottest and most satisfying sex.

If I was a gay male in the 1990s, I would have been called a size queen. I had such a distorted view of what the average penis should look like that I believed anything under eight inches was tiny.

When Mr. Big and I broke up and went our separate ways, I decided to not get too involved with anyone for a while; I just wanted some fun. When I felt the need for a sexual release, I made my preferences clear. I wasn't interested in a micropenis — I wanted someone who was big. Size was all that mattered to me.

Then I met the man who would prove to me that there's such a thing as too big.

I had been chatting with him off and on for a few months before we finally were able to sync our sex schedules. I knew that he was a stunt man with a great sense of humor. Strangely enough, he didn't send me any pics of his penis — and I didn't ask.

We genuinely liked each other and if our hookup went well, there was the possibility it could turn into a relationship. This time, I wasn't just interested in his junk; I wanted to get personal with all of him.

When I got to his house, he opened the door and the overpowering smell of reused tortilla chip oil almost knocked me down. Once I was inside the house, I saw that it was very clean, though sparsely decorated. He had a couch, a few tables, and one light. He said that he had lived there for more than five years, but it looked like he had just moved in.

The smell was the only thing that proved someone lived there. I tried to breathe through my mouth. 

He was dressed in baggy pants without a shirt, so it was easy to see the scars all over his body. He explained that he had gotten them from various stunts he performed in a number of famous action films.

Many of these were specialty stunts which had involved car crashes and fires. Although the stunts had been carefully mapped out and controlled, he had gotten hurt. He showed me each scar and told the story that went along with it.

He was easy to talk to and was intelligent and fascinating. I could feel my attraction to him growing.

I reached out and touched his skin. It was soft around the scars. With my hand hot on his body, he kissed me. We were kissing, touching, and all was going well when he slid his pants off.

I thought I couldn't be surprised by a big penis, but his was beyond huge. It was an anaconda, a baby's arm, or a foot-long sub

I thought that my ex was large, but this guy's penis was two of my ex's put together. His penis was freakish in its girth and length.

I reminded myself that I had been scared of my ex and his big penis at first but had grown to love it, so I had to give it a try. The stunt man and I started to have sex and it was immediately painful. I'm not sure he ever got it in all the way.

Every inch hurt. Sex was something that normally felt good but with the stunt man it felt as if I was being punched in the cervix. We tried different positions: doggystyle, reverse cowgirl, but they all were painful and lube didn't seem to help at all.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I liked him but I knew that there was no way sex with him would ever be a pleasurable experience. What if he wanted anal? I shuddered at the thought.

"I can't," I said. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

He must have been used to this kind of thing happening because he didn't seem that surprised or upset. Women's bodies are made to push a baby out of their vagina, not stuff one in. It would take more than a booty call and a bottle of lube to make having sex with him a good time.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and left with the smell of rancid oil still in my nostrils. I learned an important lesson, and it's that sometimes less is more than enough.

Watch women hilariously guess the average size of a man's penis below.