10 Beautiful Things That Happen When You Learn To Love Being Alone
Being alone is such a blessing.
getty In my early 20s, I used to feel validated by how packed my weekend plans were. With only 52 Saturdays in a year, my mission was to make every single one of them count. If my weekend didn't involve rolling deep with friends to whatever bar birthday party or concert was on the agenda, I felt like that free time somehow meant less.
But with age comes wisdom, as they say. As I grew out of my party phase and into my late 20s, I started to realize all the benefits of being alone. In fact, being alone became something that I even looked forward to.
Nowadays, I relish in my lack of weekend plans and the freedom that comes with being able to spend a full 48 hours however I please. Here are a few ways that life gets better when you learn to love being alone.
Here are 10 beautiful things that happen when you learn to love being alone:
1. You feel more energized
Making conversation is exhausting, especially when you're out with a group of people you don't know very well, screaming back and forth at a crowded bar. Skipping out on that Friday happy hour means having a full night to yourself to recharge your batteries, and that you won't feel so fatigued come Saturday brunch time.
2. You won't have to compromise
Think about how long it takes to come to an agreement on what bar you're meeting your friends at, or what restaurant you're all heading to for dinner. Or what you and bae are going to stream on Netflix tonight.
When you're flying solo, there's none of that hassle. You can watch whatever your heart desires and don't need to work around anyone's schedule or food restrictions to hit up that new restaurant you've been wanting to try.
3. You value your relationships more
When you love being alone, making plans with people means that you're giving up your precious alone time in order to do so. Which really makes you pick and choose who you want to see, and makes you aware of who isn't worth giving up a free Sunday for.
4. Your conversations are better
Because you're not just making plans for the sake of making plans, you'll have more to talk about when you actually do meet up with people. Unlike when you've seen the same people for the past four days in a row and have nothing new to say to each other.
5. You become more productive
Scheduling time in your life to purposely do nothing, alone, has been linked to increased productivity. When we let our minds drift off and relax, it allows our brains to recharge. Then, when we're back to working off a to-do list, we're less fatigued and more able to tackle it all.
6. You get to know yourself
You may think you have a solid idea of who you are and what makes you tick. But once you strip away everyone else's agenda, you'll get a deeper idea of what you really enjoy doing and what you tolerate just because everyone else is into it.
Maybe you always tag along with your friends to the latest superhero movie, but when you're alone, you gravitate toward documentaries. Or you agree to sign up to run a local 5k every year with your buddies, but when you've got a free afternoon your workout of choice is at a boxing ring.
7. You feel less judged
When you throw out suggestions for plans to a group of friends, you're probably used to hearing some competing opinions on your ideas. Loving your alone time means that you don't need anyone's approval to go explore that sculpture park you've heard so much about, or see that Disney movie you're "too old for."
8. You go on better dates
When you love being alone, the idea of giving up a night to yourself to spend a few hours at a bar getting to know a stranger seems pretty ridiculous. So, if you're actually going to go through with it, you're not just going to say yes to anyone who asks you out.
Of course, you can't always weed out the bad dates. But since you're being selective of who you're giving your free time to, you've probably got a better chance of having a successful first date.
9. You feel more confident
You never feel the need to wait for someone to get on board with your plans, or to agree with you on how you should spend your time. Which makes you confident about the other decisions you make in life.
Don't be surprised if you find yourself speaking up at work meetings or offering your opinion to higher-ups at your company. When you stop needing validation from others, your confidence skyrockets.
10. You have more freedom
You'll stop looking at free time as something you need to fill with plans and people and recognize it as something that's full of possibilities. Gone is the stress of figuring out who you're going to spend your Saturday night with.
When you realize the benefits of being alone, you're not tied down to anyone else's idea of fun. This leaves you with the freedom to spend your time however you please.
Danielle Page is a writer and editor whose work has been featured on Woman’s Day, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, Thought Catalog, and Huffington Post.