Moms: NOBODY Likes Your Baby Photos; They're Just Too Nice To Say So
Your pregnancy and baby photo obsession is ruining our online friendship.
Milan llic Photographer / ShutterstockDear new moms and future mommies,
We love you, and we are totally happy that you have (or are about to have) a new bundle of joy. As your friends in real life, we can't help but feel proud that we were there before you had your kid. We are also, in fact, happy to help you from time to time.
We totally understand that your baby is the new light of your life and we think your little snowflake is adorable. In fact, he might actually be one of the cutest little dumplings out there.
However, as friends, we need to tell you that your obsession with plastering photos of your pregnancy, your baby's birth, and your baby's day-to-day life has got to stop.
At first, we were happy to comment and like the awesome photos that you took of your newborn. We also were pretty happy to get the news of your pregnancy with that first humorous photo. Even those photos of your new daughter in that cute little onesie were awesome. Those photos were actually adorable and tasteful.
Those kinds of photos are encouraged and expected of new moms. We'd be a bit worried if you didn't post at least one photo after such a major life-changing event.
That being said, there are times when your social media posts might have crossed a line or two, even during your pregnancy. For example, we really don't need to see professionally taken photos of the baby bump every three days, nor do we need to see all those little posts about how spiritual pregnancy is.
We also don't want to see all of your newly acquired wisdom tweets about parenting, especially if you haven't given birth yet. We understand that pregnancy is one of those events that changes a person, but you are so much more than just a pregnant woman; you're our friend, and we want to see updates on other areas of your life, too.
As bad as the constant barrage of baby bump photos, Earth mother tweets, and sanctimommy blog posts are, they still don't hold a candle to the amount of cringe those birthing photos elicit. Somehow, your pregnancy magically turned you from a normal woman into a birth-crazed diva.
There's a certain point where social media photos and videos turn into TMI, and you definitely crossed that line when you entered a birthing photo competition and posted your entry on your main feed for all to see. Who gives birth in high heels and makeup, anyway? Moreover, what made you think that those kinds of photos were even appropriate to post?
Giving birth can be a beautiful thing but it's a beautiful thing that is best left private from too many prying eyes.
It was the oversharing of birth-related body functions and updates that might have been the worst for some of us. We didn't need to hear about how many stitches you got there, see photos of the afterbirth, or hear about how you're going to be eating the placenta. Some of us like to look at social media while we're eating but posting that stuff makes it really hard to do so.
Despite the grossness of those photos, we stoically kept on having you added to our accounts. We chalked it up to you acting a little loopy. Pregnancy can make us into people we're not, and at this point, we're hoping that's what has happened with you.
Then, there are the actual photos of your baby. The first bunch of photos was alright. We all commented on how cute he is and how he has your eyes. We loved the way he smiled in that one photo. When she was wrapped up in the pink blankie, she really did look like an angel.
However, after baby photo #4,215,512 popped up on our feed, our desire to comment on your child waned. Somewhere along the line, you also forgot that there's such a thing as TMI about babies as well.
By the time you began posting a million photos of him buck naked in the bathtub or posting photos of his poop on Facebook, we just couldn't take it anymore. We then realized that we had lost you to an abyss of baby photos and Pinterest-ready blog posts.
We felt really bad for your future teenager, who now has his baby photos visible for all to see. It was all too much. We had to block you.
Your obsession with posting every little baby-related update is killing our relationship with you. We understand how much you love your kid but that doesn't mean everyone around you will be as obsessed with him as you are.
Most of us are willing to re-add you, but only if you cool down a bit with the photos and the oversharing. We love you and we think your kid is awesome but there's definitely a part of us that misses the non-obsessed person you once were. We just don't need to hear about every embarrassing little detail you have.
Love,
Your friends
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.