13 Psychological Tricks The Smartest People Use To Gain Control Of Any Situation
Some are so simple that they seem obvious, while others are more complex.
fizkes / Shutterstock Have you ever been talking to someone and, no matter how much you tried, you just weren't clicking with them? They just didn't seem to understand what you were asking, or maybe they misunderstood what you said.
What can you do to get on the same page as someone, communication-wise? Luckily, there are a few tricks that can help you communicate with almost anyone.
Here are 13 psychological tricks to gain control of any situation
1. Use eye contact
Dejan Dundjerski / Shutterstock
If the person you're speaking with gives you an unsatisfactory answer — a lie, or a response that's confusing or unclear — don't ask the question again. Instead, simply focus in on their eyes and don't say anything.
Maintaining eye contact is a technique that will make him or her feel a bit trapped, and they will feel compelled to continue their thoughts.
2. Stay cool
BearFotos / Shutterstock
If you're talking to someone and the conversation becomes contentious, with the person screaming at you, don't do anything, as your reaction can lead them to anger.
Once their anger dissipates, they will probably feel guilty for their aggressive and unpleasant behavior, and will apologize. The most important thing to do is keep a cool head.
3. Remain nearby
Studio Romantic / Shutterstock
If you know that a person is going to criticize, blame or make comments about you, face your fear and try to sit or stand beside them. Stick close to them and don't move away.
If you're near this person and in a very close proximity, they will be less negative about you than if you were at a distance.
4. Chew gum
Sherman Trotz / Pexels
Eating a meal is often associated with safety and feeling relaxed, so if you're worried about an encounter with someone, chew gum. While it may seem strange, there's an added benefit to it.
Chewing gum will fool your brain into thinking that you're eating and that there's nothing to be alarmed about. You will feel much more confident and will be able to gain control of the situation.
5. Imagine that the person you need to impress is a good friend
Julia Larson / Pexels
Whether you're going in for a job interview or are about to take a very important test, it's best to pretend that the interviewer or proctor is a close friend.
You will not only gain control of the social situation, but you will feel calmer and will be able to answer questions easier.
6. Look at people's eyes after telling a joke
fizkes / Shutterstock
If a group of people begin laughing at the same time, everybody in that group will instinctively look at the person they like the most or the person with whom they want to get closer to. Use this to your advantage.
If you focus on people's eyes after they say something funny, you will get some valuable information.
7. Be happier than normal when meeting someone new
fauxels / Pexels
Every time you meet someone new, in order to gain control of the communication, you should articulate a little more happiness than usual. That means you can smile sincerely, or try to say their name kindly and warmly.
Over time, you will relate much better to this person, and the enjoyment of being in each other's presence will be sincere.
8. Put a mirror behind yourself at work
michaelheim / Shutterstock
If your work is connected to people, it's possible to encourage them (without their knowledge) to behave better.
Generally, people always try to look their best in a mirror, and never want to appear to themselves as jerks. If there's a mirror behind you, people will see their reflections, and will smile and be nicer.
9. Look behind the person's shoulders
Butsaya / Shutterstock
If you want to get the attention of someone you like, look at something directly behind their shoulders. It may seem counterintuitive to not look directly at the person, but this is simply to hold their attention.
And once you know that you've caught the other person's sight, quickly look into their eyes and smile. Because, as we know, eye contact is directly connected to attraction.
10. Control your stress
Kelvin Valerio / Pexels
When we're stressed, we have a tendency to breathe deeper, while our heart pounds ridiculously fast.
When this happens, try to force yourself to breathe at a more regular pace and calm down your heartbeat. You have the power to relax right out of the stress zone.
11. Focus on eye color
George Milton / Pexels
When trying to make a connection with someone you're attracted to, or to get someone's sympathy, it's important to focus on that person's eye color. This is especially helpful for people who have trouble focusing.
Maintaining intense eye contact can be effective in building trust and connection with another person.
12. Raise the bar
Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
When you're first making your terms known, make them exceedingly high, knowing that the person you're negotiating with will probably not agree to them. However, the person might actually agree on the actual terms you offer after a large request.
People tend to cave in on a smaller request or requirement when they've denied you on something larger beforehand. This is known as the door-in-the-face technique.
13. Exhibit confidence
Jack Sparrow / Pexels
People are drawn to others with confidence in themselves and their actions. So even if you're not extremely self-assured, if you look like you are, people will believe it.
Much of being a good communicator is in eye contact, smiling, acting confident, and tricking yourself into being relaxed. And these are skills you already have in your power.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She's had articles featured in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman's Day, among many others.