Why Arguing With Your Partner Via Text Is A Big Mistake!

Having hard conversations with those we love is never fun. And in today's digital age, many couples opt to just hide from each other and hash it out from behind their cell phone and laptop screens.

You don't have to face the situation head on anymore ... nor look the person you're hurting in the eye.  

But it turns out, eye contact is an essential part of effective communication and healthy conflict resolution.  

According to YourTango expert and psychologist Dr. Stan Tatkin, hiding behind your phone or leaving critical conversations to times when you're distracted (like while driving in your car) is the wrong way to tackle difficult discussions, as this disconnected approach can actually escalate conflict.  

He explains that as visually-thinking humans, we need direct eye contact to co-regulate each other's nervous systems. "There's a very small portion of the eye that sees the world in high definition," Dr. Tatkin explains, "and that's right dead ahead. Anything outside of that area we're leaving blind."

Not being able to see the person's face and fully read their facial expressions makes us feel uncertain and anxious in conflict situations and often lead to us completely misinterpreting the other person's true reaction when trying to decipher their thoughts via text messages or distracted conversations in the car.  

The result?  A calm discussion quickly twists into a heated argument that hinders you from reaching a compromise, connection, and deeper understanding.  

So, how can you resolve conflict more quickly and make eye contact work for you in a tech-driven world?  

Listen to Dr. Stan Tatkin's excellent advice in the YourTango Quickie video above!