11 Of The Most F*cked Up Parts Of The Josh Duggar Scandal (So Far)

It was revealed this week that Josh Duggar, one of the oldest of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's 19 Kids And Counting litter, sexually molested five underage girls, some of whom were his sisters, 12 years ago. Duggar, now 27, is totally sorry.

In a statement to PEOPLE magazine, Duggar lamented, "Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life."

It doesn't end there. Let's examine everything that's wrong with this scenario ... that we know so far. Seriously, I didn't think anything could get worse than Michelle's bangs. Jesus.

1. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar waited over a year to talk to authorities. Instead of reporting Josh Duggar sexually molesting young girls to the police, Jim Bob and Michelle sent him to a "Christian treatment program," then to an Arkansas state trooper's house for "a stern talking to."

2. The Arkansas state trooper who the Duggars entrusted to discipline Josh Duggar was a sex offender. Joseph Hutchens himself later went to prison for child pornography charges. Tell me there's not something much more sinister going on here and I have some magic beans I'd like to sell you.

3. Josh Duggar blamed his youth for sexually molesting children. Most of us don't make mistakes like that when we're young, right? Right?

4. Josh Duggar was allowed to live in the house with his victims. I'm sure they slept soundly.

5. In his apology, Josh Duggar notes that if he continued to sexually molest children, he would end up ruining his life. His life. His. Life. Not his victims' lives, but his. Because they don't matter, duh. He's the real victim here, you guys.

6. Josh Duggar considers himself a moral authority and is concerned with your sex life. Duggar had to step down from the Family Research Council, a conservative Christian group that prides itself on policing what media they think the rest of us should be able to consume. The Family Research Council has openly lobbied against the LGBTQ community, sodomy, stem cell research, abortion and divorce, claiming that they're destructive to traditional family values. You know what's really destructive to families? Molesting your sisters. I hear sexual abuse is kind of a traumatic thing.

7. Michelle Duggar taught her daughters not to say "no" to sex. That's healthy. She has 19 kids. At least she practices what she preaches.

8. The Duggar children were raised with sexual repression to the Nth degree. Only side-hugs are permitted until your wedding day, because going chest-to-chest can create too much temptation. According to Duggars, so can going to the beach, dancing, listening to secular music, watching television (hypocrites) and celebrating Halloween. Given that information, if Josh Duggar was still somehow tempted to molest his sisters, which is something most of us have never even considered, then maybe — just maybe — their rules, not the rest of ours, are part of the problem.

9. Josh Duggar represents exactly that the Family Research Council believes that homosexuality will create. To quote a Family Research Council publication called Homosexual Activists Work To Normalize Sex With Boys (yes, that's really the title): "One of the primary goals of the homosexual rights movement is to abolish all age of consent laws and to eventually recognize pedophiles as the ‘prophets’ of a new sexual order."

10. Josh Duggar and his wife, Anna, are expecting their fourth child. This will end well. Good luck and Godspeed, kids.

11. Jim Bob Duggar once wanted incest to be punishable by death. Or, you know, just by manual labor. Whatever works for you.