Women Who Do These 14 Things Are The Type Of Wives Men Rave To Their Friends About
Three years into marriage, I’ve learned I still have a lot to learn.
Ketut Subiyanto | Pexels As a girlfriend, you aim to feel comfortable and secure in his love. He’ll find you cute in sweats and prefers you without makeup. You might ask about exes and allow jealousy or anger to surface to gauge his reactions.
As a wife, you realize you’ll grow old with this person — in all its wrinkled, grey-streaked glory. So why waste your youth in sweats? This person will share the dining table for the rest of your life, making keeping the peace more important than testing your limits.
Women who do these 14 things are the type of wives men rave to their friends about:
1. They avoid harsh, mean comments.
Even in the heat of the moment. Damaging his self-esteem has no place in marriage, and wives should expect the same in return.
Even in challenging moments, women who refrain from belittling their husbands help protect their self-esteem and create a healthier marriage.
2. They don't speak negatively about him to others.
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Especially friends. Girlfriends tend to vent about their boyfriends and then feel conflicted when their friends hate them. More than that, it's a matter of respect.
Respecting their husband's privacy and not venting to friends helps maintain a strong and united relationship.
3. They present a united front on parenting.
No undermining, badmouthing each other, or questioning the other’s authority. Couples who are aligned in their parenting styles contribute to healthier emotional development in their children.
A European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry study showed, "Perceived dissimilarity between parenting styles is associated with externalizing and internalizing problems. The results highlight the negative consequences of perceived dissimilarity between parents. Children have more internalizing and externalizing problems when they perceive their parents as more dissimilar in parenting styles.
4. They accept faults without dwelling on them.
An interesting shift happens when you realize that a situation isn’t going to change: You change how you deal with the problem — proactively and logically — quickly finding a solution instead of moaning and nagging.
Women who focus on solutions rather than complaints build stronger, more resilient relationships with their husbands.
5. They dress up for him on weekends.
Dressing up for their husbands, even at home, helps women feel confident and enhances their connection with their partner. Not to impress him, but to feel pretty around him. Looking good makes wives feel good, which makes them happier person to be around.
6. They make sure he feels heard.
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Actively listening to their husbands fosters trust, intimacy, and a deeper connection in the relationship.
For a while, my husband felt like his voice didn’t matter, especially when raising our son. Maybe it’s because we’re young, or maybe it’s just the personalities in my family, or perhaps it’s just the realities of being a parent. Still, people aren't shy about voicing their opinions — whether it’s what kind of diapers we use or where we spend holidays. But my loyalty to my husband over my other family members is important. I have to remember that we’re a partnership — his voice needs to have just as much weight as my own, period.
Therapist Todd Creager explained how trust is tied to feeling heard: "The more your partner feels safe revealing, the more they will trust you. The more trust and acceptance there are, the more connected you both will be, leading to more joy and feelings of love all around. "Too many partners deal with emotional conversations as something they must endure and try to get over it too quickly. This does not create the alive, passionate, and open relationship most people crave. Sticking with the conversation a little longer, practicing active listening, and asking your partner to reveal more about whatever they are experiencing is a powerful way to deepen your connection."
7. They maintain their own identity.
Women who retain separate interests and opinions contribute to a healthier, more balanced marriage.
I never want either of us to lose ourselves in the other or to invest all of our happiness in each other. My happiness is entirely up to me.
8. They stopped expecting things from him.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations and doing things for themselves promotes personal fulfillment and reduces relationship tension.
I stopped expecting him to pick up his godforsaken clothes off the floor when the hamper was four steps to the left. I stopped expecting him to compliment me on my housework efforts. I stopped expecting him to split the chores and parenting responsibilities 50-50 down the middle. I do things for myself.
9. They embrace differences.
I finally accepted that just because he doesn’t do things the way I want them done, or at the exact moment I want them done, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t do them well.
Acknowledging and appreciating each other's differences strengthens the partnership and creates harmony. "Build on each others’ strengths and help each other in the areas of weakness. Be supportive of one another and come alongside each other to build each other up. That is really what a marriage relationship is all about. You walk through life together, encouraging and holding each other up. You gain strength from one another. You are on the same team, not opposing teams! You are not in competition with each other — you are working together," advised couples counselor Deborah McFadden.
10. They wear pretty things to bed.
This relates to saving the pretty dresses for when he is around, but now consider the layer under the cute dress. You know what he likes.
Women who try to look attractive for their husbands help maintain physical and emotional closeness in the relationship.
11. They recognize his strengths.
He has strengths, and I have strengths — in parenting and marriage — and just because they’re not the same doesn’t make them any less valid.
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Women who understand and appreciate their husband's strengths contribute to a more balanced and supportive marriage.
12. They work on self-improvement.
Striving to be better individuals, both in and out of marriage, fosters personal growth and strengthens the partnership.
I’ve been recognizing my faults and working hard to be a better person — not just as a wife or mother, but as a person. They mostly center on my control and stress issues, so I’m making a genuine effort — and that’s the best I can do.
13. They prioritize quality time.
I don’t care how much work I must do, and I always have spare time for trashy movies with him. Always and forever. Alone time with my husband, in general, is a top priority.
Regular date nights and quality time together help keep the relationship fresh and connected. Marriage therapists Linda and Charlie Bloom recommended regular date nights, "Date nights aren’t just for young lovers; they work magic for those of you who have been together for a while because going away from home provides a change of scenery and enlivens things for both partners. According to research in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, couples who went on date nights reported feeling closer to their partners. Planning a date night at home can be fun, too. You can have a romantic dinner by candlelight. Consider making date night a regular feature of your relationship."
14. They practice kindness.
Women who consistently show kindness toward their husbands contribute to a happier, healthier marriage.
Of course, I'm not a perfect wife or person. Some of these are works in progress, goals I strive toward, but I'm trying. Even though marriage requires more conscious effort than I ever imagined, it can ultimately result in a healthier relationship and self.
Michelle Horton is a writer and advocate. Through the Nicole Addimando Community Defense Committee, she speaks out for her sister and the countless other victims of domestic violence criminalized for their acts of survival. She's the author of Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds.