8 Lame Excuses For Seeing '50 Shades Of Grey'

Whenever a movie like 50 Shades Of Grey comes out, there's always a group of people who go to see the movie even though they claim that they didn't want to see it. Every time! These people always exist, and it's infuriating. These people all obviously just wanted to see the movie, but don't want to admit it. If you hear someone using one of these excuses, now you have the tools to call them out and force them to admit that they just wanted to see the onscreen Christian Grey and Ana Steele be disturbing and basic.

1. "I'm going to hate watch it."
No, you're not. You're not going to the theater, spending theater prices, and giving up your Friday or Saturday night to "hate watch"something. People use excuses like this so that they can still satisfy their curiosity but also maintain their feelings of superiority. Everyone else who saw it just bought into the hype, but these people want you to believe that they were above the hype ... Even though they still went out and saw it. Yes, some people do watch notorious movies out of curiosity, but not opening weekend at the theaters. If you went opening weekend at the theater, then the marketing worked. You weren't above anything. Just admit that you wanted to see the movie.

2. "(Blank) wanted to see it, I'm just keeping them company."
"I didn't want to see it, but my friend (or group of friends) was going, so I went to keep them company." No, you're not just keeping them company, you're seeing the movie. If your friends were all doing something that you have no interest in doing, then you just wouldn't go. Why use this excuse? How does it sound better to be so codependent on other people that you'll waste your time and money doing things you can't stand as opposed to being a fan of a dumb book? If you think people are going to judge you for liking 50 Shades of Grey, what makes you think they won't judge you for being a tag-a-long? This is just another person who wants to sit in the theater and think "I'm better than all these people, who were dumb enough to be fooled by the marketing campaign! I'm only here because I'm friends with some of those dumb people!" Yeah, and you're obviously not a valued member of the group, because they apparently don't mind dragging you along to things that you claim you won't enjoy.

3. "My significant other is forcing me!"
This one is real. Hey, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do when you're in a relationship. A significant chunk of any movie's box office comes from boyfriends or girlfriends who are just fulfilling an obligation. (Thankfully, my girlfriend likes action movies, so this isn't really any issue for us, but our mutual best friend has had to sit through all of the Twilight films because his lady friend has horrible taste.)

4. "There was nothing else I wanted to see!"
People use this excuse hoping you won't realize that going to the movies isn't a thing anyone has to do, ever. Face it, if you went to the movies, you did so by choice. If there aren't any movies playing that you want to see, then it's much easier to just not go. It's actually a 100% easier.

5. "My family was kidnapped, and the ransom was going to see Fifty Shades Of Grey!"
That's a really weird thing for a kidnapper to use as a ransom, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. It's probably worth sitting through a movie you're not interested in if it's going to save your family.

6. "I wanted to see what the hype was about!"
This is my least favorite excuse, because this is just an obnoxious way of saying "I wanted to see it." It just uses different words to make it seem like, once again, this person was above it. They wanted to check in on all the plebeians out there, see what they're into. After they're done with this movie, they'll return to their superior movie viewing habits until another hyped movie comes out.

7. "I wanted to have an informed opinion when I make fun of it!"
Fifty Shades Of Grey looks dumb. I don't need to see it to know that. I can make fun of the dumb dialogue from the trailer and also not support the movie financially. If this excuse were to be taken literally, that means that this person went to the movies to purposefully have a bad time. They knew the movie was going to suck, but they still went so that they could accurately be snarky about it? They think that this is somehow better than liking the movie? I've never seen any Twilight movie, but I can still make fun of them. The only people who are going to get upset are fans of the movie who won't enjoy the joke anyway.

8. "My mom wanted to see it so I had to take her."
Uh, your family needs stronger boundaries. Take it from someone who knows.