10 Ways To Unleash Your Inner Christian Grey (Safely, Of Course)

By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher

If you are looking for ways to spice up this Valentine’s Day with your partner, what better way than to surprise your partner with some kinky new moves in the bedroom? Flaunt your sexy, fearless side by catching your partner off-guard and making bold, unexpected moves.

Here are 10 ways to make your partners deepest, darkest sexual fantasies come to light.

1. Dress the part.

Acting sexy isn't enough; you need to look the part. Indulge in a sexy little lingerie set that will leave your partner stunned. Be festive and go all-out; opt for a bright red or pink color and a matching racy lace panty.

Looking sexy will give you the confidence you need to try a new move and will instantly get your man in the mood.

2. Be a tease.

Try on your sexy new lingerie and give your man a sneak peek. Send him a sexy photo while he is at work or on his way over, just to give him a little tease of what you will be wearing – he will be racing home to see you and will come to the door dying to see your panties in person.

Another great way to get your man in the mood is to send him an email of different sex positions or a passionate sex story and write ‘interested?’ in the subject line. It will drive your man crazy!

3. Watch and learn.

Study up! In order to give your man a surprise he will never forget, you need to get inspired by the professionals. This means watching porn with a purpose. Look at some of their moves and see what ones you think would be fun to incorporate in the bedroom this Valentine’s day. 

Another fun way to learn what moves to incorporate in the bedroom and what your partners fantasies are without coming right out and asking them is to watch porn together. While watching it together might be light-hearted and funny—observe his reactions and see what he likes. This is also a great segue into discussing each other’s fantasies.

4. Shop 'til you drop.

Take your boy toy to the toy store. Bring your man to a sex shop for a look around, it will be sure to be an interesting experience—to say the least. While the oversized dildos and outrageous sex toys may make you both giggle, it will also be a fun, carefree way to see what toys you and your partner would be willing to try and see what kind of kink your partner is really craving in bed.

You will be surprised what kinky things your partner has been dying to try.

5. Spontaneous is sexy.

If the thought of buying sex toys makes you nervous - no problem. Get creative, use what you are wearing or already have at home to spice up your night. 

When you take your stockings off, tie them around your partner’s wrists to make handcuffs or tie them around their eyes to make a blind fold. Use some things in your fridge to make look even more delicious. Put whipped cream all of your body and have him lick it off—it will be a desert he will never forget and will leave him craving more.

6. Role play.

Once you find out your partners fantasy, make it into a reality. Dress up as a hot nurse, teacher, school girl—whatever secret fantasy your man has—and act the part. Role playing will give you the confidence to act sexy and try new things that you otherwise wouldn’t, because you are acting as someone else.

Bring out your alter-ego and let your mind run crazy. Be creative and try kinky new things that you would never try before!

7. Location, location, location!

Stray away from your bed (even if it’s a king size) and think of a new, exciting place where you can get-it-on with your man. Think of a place that you have not had sex or that you think would be exciting to try—whether it be the kitchen counter, sofa or car—and go for it! Having sex in a new place with your man is always exciting and will give you the thrill you need to try some new moves.

8. Fun and games.

Who said games are just for kids? Playing games with your partner could be a great and exciting way to spice up your sex life. Whether it is a game of Strip Poker or Never Have I Ever, playing a game with your partner can spark new fantasies and passionate sex. Have fun!

9. Give the goodies.

When it comes to giving your man a gift on Valentine’s Day, you have to give him something he will remember. Splurge on some new oils and creams and give your man a relaxing massage.

If you want to really impress him, take a few massage classes and give him the best massage he ever had. Aside from being relaxing, massages are sexy and intimate - it’s the perfect gift for any man.

10. Lights, camera, action!

Get ready for your close up. Wrap up a camera as a gift for your man with a sexy note in the card about making a sex tape—for your eyes only, of course. Recording your sex can be fun and gives you the confidence to try new moves. Even if you have taped yourselves before, every time that you do it is different and a new adventure. This could be a fun and memorable way to create a thrilling memory this Valentine’s Day.