10 Stages You Go Through When Your Phone Is Lost

My phone was stolen from my jacket pocket while I was working in Starbucks this weekend and like an awful soap opera, I went through about every emotion you can imagine in 60 minutes (without commercials).

If you've ever been in the same situation, or lost your phone, you know how frustrating and violating it feels, but you also know how strangely freeing it can feel by the end of the episode.

Let's go through the rollercoaster of emotions together, shall we?

1. You're In Denial No, no, no. It has to be here. It was JUST here. I'm sure it's here, just hiding. No one steals phones at Starbucks! RIGHT? RIGHT?

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2. You Completely PANIC You know in the movies, when people go into a frenzy and knock everything off the table and start throwing random objects? THAT Is you. Suddenly, you're sitting on the floor, covered in coffee and all your belongings are scattered on the ground and stuck to your hair. You're also talking VERY loudly to yourself in public and not giving a sh*t about it.

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3. You Fear The Worst My vacation photos! My new music! My texts! Is that asshat who has my phone going through my entire LIFE right now? Is he swiping right on creeps on my dating apps? Did I sign out of Chase Mobile? He's Venmo-ing money to the entire world right now! All my information is going to be published on the internet. I'm ruined.

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4. You Get All "Why Me?!" What did I do to deserve this? Is this because I didn't back up everything to iCloud?!

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5. Fight-Or-Flight Kicks In You gather your senses, clean up the mess you just made and get to work. Let's do this.

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6. You Get Suspicious You unleash your inner Sarah Koenig and get Serial on the "witnesses". Where were YOU 10 minutes ago? Did you see someone come up behind me? Was anyone crawling on the floor? When was the last time you saw an iPhone 5? You see a man staring at you in the corner. He KNOWS something. What does he know? What cell tower am I near? JAY?! Is that you?

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7. You Mope Home You face the facts: It's gone, you're phoneless and defeated. It's all over. Time to go home, let go and complain (via email) about it to everyone you know.

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8. You Seek Revenge Fine, if that little sucker is going to turn off my phone so I can't harass him with calls, I'll Find My iPhone his ass. I'll track his every move the second he turns it on, let the police know and make sure it plays an annoying sound. You messed with the wrong woman!

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9. You Laugh About It OK, dude. You want my locked, 2-year-old phone that can’t hold its battery for more than 3 hours? Fine, it's all yours. I used up all the storage anyway.

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10. You See The Bright Side No phone means no calls, no texts, no emails, no notifications, no annoying emergency alerts. Wait, actually that doesn't sound bad at all. STAYCATION!

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10 Highly Emotional Stages You Go Through When Your Phone Is Lost

Some jerk stole my phone this weekend, and things got emotional.

1. You're In Denial No, no, no. It has to be here. It was JUST here. I'm sure it's here, just hiding. No one steals phones at Starbucks! RIGHT? RIGHT?

4. You Get All "Why Me?!" What did I do to deserve this? Is this because I didn't back up everything to iCloud?!

5. Fight-Or-Flight Kicks In You gather your senses, clean up the mess you just made and get to work. Let's do this.

7. You Mope Home You face the facts: It's gone, you're phoneless and defeated. It's all over. Time to go home, let go and complain (via email) about it to everyone you know.

8. You Seek Revenge Fine, if that little sucker is going to turn off my phone so I can't harass him with calls, I'll Find My iPhone his ass. I'll track his every move the second he turns it on, let the police know and make sure it plays an annoying sound. You messed with the wrong woman!

9. You Laugh About It OK, dude. You want my locked, 2-year-old phone that can’t hold its battery for more than 3 hours? Fine, it's all yours. I used up all the storage anyway.

10. You See The Bright Side No phone means no calls, no texts, no emails, no notifications, no annoying emergency alerts. Wait, actually that doesn't sound bad at all. STAYCATION!

10 Highly Emotional Stages You Go Through When Your Phone Is Lost

Some jerk stole my phone this weekend, and things got emotional.

1. You're In Denial No, no, no. It has to be here. It was JUST here. I'm sure it's here, just hiding. No one steals phones at Starbucks! RIGHT? RIGHT?

4. You Get All "Why Me?!" What did I do to deserve this? Is this because I didn't back up everything to iCloud?!

5. Fight-Or-Flight Kicks In You gather your senses, clean up the mess you just made and get to work. Let's do this.

7. You Mope Home You face the facts: It's gone, you're phoneless and defeated. It's all over. Time to go home, let go and complain (via email) about it to everyone you know.

8. You Seek Revenge Fine, if that little sucker is going to turn off my phone so I can't harass him with calls, I'll Find My iPhone his ass. I'll track his every move the second he turns it on, let the police know and make sure it plays an annoying sound. You messed with the wrong woman!

9. You Laugh About It OK, dude. You want my locked, 2-year-old phone that can’t hold its battery for more than 3 hours? Fine, it's all yours. I used up all the storage anyway.

10. You See The Bright Side No phone means no calls, no texts, no emails, no notifications, no annoying emergency alerts. Wait, actually that doesn't sound bad at all. STAYCATION!

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