I Fell In Love With My Husband Because Of His Kinky Side

There are many reasons why I love my husband, Olivier.

I love his accent, for starters, despite the fact that I'm not a big fan of accents. There's just something the way his thick French accent makes everything sound better and sexier. I also love the way he sees the world, in this hopeful way that even the worst tragedies will have a happy ending.

And while I'd love even more to go through all the reasons why I love him, I'll spare you.

Instead, I'll tell you one of the big reasons I originally fell for him: his kinky side.

Olivier and I came to be thanks to a one-night stand when I was in Paris one spring. After years and years of one-night stands, I never thought I'd end up marrying one, but I did. I'm still somewhat surprised by this.

But the thing with him being a one-night stand and I being in heartbreak recovery mode on the other side of the Atlantic was I was open to new ideas, both sexually and otherwise. I also, at least in the beginning, didn't really have any intention of seeing him again, so I felt this sort of freedom to indulge in things I had only thought about in the past.

Before I met my husband, the one time I tried to express to someone something new that I wanted sexually, I was shot down.

I had asked the guy I was dating to spank me, and he suggested I get more therapy. In a world of so many fetishes and S&M practices, I think most would agree that, perhaps, he was a bit tightly wound and closed-minded. After the world got a glimpse of how the other half lives with the publication of Fifty Shades of Grey, spanking has become pretty vanilla on a scale of what is kinky and what is not.

So, when I found myself in bed with a man whom I could sense was on the same page with me sexually, I opened up the lines of communication about things I'd been thinking. I told him about my attempt to be spanked a couple years before, and the type of porn I had realized I was into. It wasn't difficult, per se, because, as I said, I assumed it would be a short-lived fling, but definitely something that was new for me.

Despite having written about sex, both pertaining to studies and my on life for the last several years, to sit down and tell someone, without even the slightest hesitation, all the things I'd like him to do to me was intimidating. Part of me feared I’d get the, "get more therapy," thing, while another part of me didn't care if I did. I felt like I was finally coming clean, and hoped there would be some places where we overlapped.

Lucky us; we more than just overlapped, we were (and are) completely in sync sexually. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Olivier, in all his kinkiness, is my sexual soulmate.

In the weeks that followed that conversation, our sex life went into overdrive.

Finally, we had both found someone else with whom we could share our love for bondage and submission, along with some other things I'll keep to myself, and it was liberating. We trusted and respected each other enough to really push the boundaries. I always felt safe with him, and no matter what roleplaying we partook in, I knew with a single word, he'd stop. It was my first real sexual awakening, and I felt I was finally having the sex that I not only wanted, but deserved.

And all the while we were having this amazing sex, and getting to know each other's bodies, we were getting to know each other in other ways, too. I felt that I could tell him anything, and he felt the same.

As I began to realize I was falling in love with Olivier, it became clear that my love for him had grown out of the love I had for having sex with him. It didn't mean that I only loved him for sex, but that having found my sexual soulmate, I was able to let myself go and fall for the rest of him, too.

Olivier and I will celebrate our six-month wedding anniversary on November 9th.

Our sex life is still just as fantastic as it was when we first met, and my love for him grows every day. As I said, while I could list all the reasons why I love him, I won't. My fingers will get tired and he blushes too easily.

But I will say that I love the change he had on my both sex life and the life I lead every day. I feel like I'm a more settled and complete person, because of him.

Oh, and I finally got someone to spank me.