Experts Reveal The 'Perfect Harmony Ratio' In A Marriage
How to make your relationship in-sync.
dashapetrenkophotos, SandraKavas | Canva Is it possible to have a long-term love affair where the romance and desire for one another are as intense as when it first began? Yes, but many couples don't have the skills necessary to sustain this type of passionate love life and intimacy in their relationships — that's why many tend to get bored in their marriages.
But why is it so simple to start a wonderful, passionate relationship with love and desire in the beginning, only for those feelings (and the passionate intimacy you once had) to fade and become more difficult as time passes?
Studies have shown that there are “stages” of love as you begin to date someone, and those feelings, in the start, can overwhelm your common sense sometimes.
YourTango relationship experts sit down and discuss the 'perfect harmony ratio' in a marriage.
It seemed like it was easy in the beginning because it was new and an excess of dopamine flooded through your brain and your partner’s, too.
Over time, however, this flood of chemicals begins to change and mature, and the longer you stay with your spouse, the harder it can seem for you to feel those hot, fiery urges like you did before.
So how can you achieve that feeling when you've been married for years? Believe it or not, while you might not feel the same giddy way that you did when you first met your spouse, you can still feel something akin to that.
Just because you don’t have the same rush of hormones and chemicals doesn’t mean that you can’t feel passion for your partner anymore.
You grow closer to your spouse in numerous ways as you both grow together, and there’s no reason that your incredible love life has to die just because you’re not in the puppy love stage of romantic love anymore.
It might be more of a challenge or require a bit more work, but yes, you really can achieve the type of passionate love you need with your spouse of five, 10, or even 25 years.
Pexels / Steshka Willems
Intimacy is an important, integral part of your relationship, and when things begin to slip away, it can feel awkward to try and get them going again.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed to be boring, or that your love life will automatically die.
According to research, many married couples are more intimate than singles. So some rumors about relationships aren’t to be trusted at all. So get out there, and create intimacy, inside and outside the bedroom.
Tammy Nelson, PhD is an intimacy and relationship expert, an international speaker, an author, and a licensed psychotherapist with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.
Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist and author. She is a subject matter expert in breaking bad habits and unhealthy behaviors.
Dr. John Gray is a leading relationship expert whose books, including Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus have sold over 50 million copies in 50 languages in 150 countries.
Annie Gleason is a retired dating coach, dating expert, speaker, and writer.
Dr. Margaret Paul is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, and educator.