Why Men Suffer From Lovesickness More Than Women
Men suffer during heartbreak more than most think.
Bill Oxford | Antonio_Diaz | Aramyan | Getty Images / pixelshot | Canva The biggest problem with love is that sometimes it doesn't last. When love comes to an end, the effects of losing that person are devastating. There's nothing more painful than losing the person you love (besides, perhaps, losing a limb; I hear that can hurt like nothing else, too), and then having to pick up the pieces and function in the world without them.
Whether you call it heartbreak or lovesick, it still means the same: something is missing, and that something isn't coming back.
A survey by Elite Singles found that when it came to being lovesick, it's the guys who suffer the most. Of the 95 percent of those surveyed who admitted to being lovesick at some point in their lives, 25 percent more men suffer from lovesickness than women at a relationship's demise. But why?
Why men suffer from lovesickness more than women
According to psychologist, Dr. Wiebke Neberich, the cause could be steeped in the fact that "women are more often the ones to break off the relationship, and men have a propensity to overestimate a woman's interest, meaning that they also get brushed off and suffer from unrequited love more often."
Men and women may suffer differently, but all can agree that when it comes to a breakup, nothing cuts as deep as if the end is because of another person. Eighty percent put that reason as the most painful cause of heartbreaks, followed by 29 percent feeling that being put second to their partner's life is the worst, with family disapproval and issues in the bedroom coming up in third and fourth place, respectively.
Lovesickness is a legitimate ache that can cause both emotional and physical issues. It's not just a breakup, but a loss that can take weeks, months, and, sometimes, years from which to recover. While we immediately think of a woman on her couch making love to a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, each person deals with their despair in their own way and, surprisingly, drowning in carbs isn't on the top of the list.
Most, 61 percent of men and 76 percent of women, turn to their friends to get through their sadness. It may be exhausting if you're on the receiving end of that call, but don't worry, you'll be up to bat at some point, too. It's inevitable.
For women who'd rather not burden their friends, their top choice is to grieve alone (54 percent), while guys choose to keep their heads down and get back to the grindstone (44 percent.) Trying to eat your weight in mac 'n' cheese didn't even come up as a coping mechanism until after grieving alone, working, and treating yourself. Of course, it had to be on there somewhere or every chick flick you've ever seen would have been a lie!
At the very bottom of the list of how people deal with being lovesick is revenge, cold, relentless, well-orchestrated, revenge. An eye for an eye, no?
See how men and women deal with heartbreak in the infographic from Elite Singles below.
The point is, whether you're suffering from a breakup now, have in the past, or your next one is right around the corner, we've all been there. Not a single person will be able to go through the entirety of their life without experiencing it at least once. Isn't it nice to know you're not alone? It's especially nice to know that people are dealing with it the same way you do. Misery sure loves company.
How do you deal with being lovesick?
Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.