Is He Afraid Of Commitment, Or Just Afraid Of A Wrong Decision?
A man's issues with commitment may have nothing to do with you.
A recent article by Hugo Schwyzer on Good Men Project begins as a refutation of the idea that a good, available man is hard to find.
But from there, it transitions into an exploration of the possibility that many men, frustrated by the failed marriages of their parents and their peers, are just afraid of picking the wrong person to marry.
Maybe it's because of the idea that the second Showcase Showdown prize could be even better than the first... or maybe many men are ladling fairytale soup from the same happily-ever-after Crock-Pot as yesteryear's tween girls.
While some dudes probably grow up with a love-at-first-sight notion, and some dudes figure they'll just marry the first broad they knock up (like dear old dad), and other dudes plan on rocking and rolling themselves into an early, widow-free grave, most dudes just assume they'll muddle along until they find someone who's right for them. Few guys have a plan or an idea of what their perfect relationship will be. That's part of why dudes try to avoid panic purchases. Survey: Men Take Commitment VERY Seriously
When I was a freshman in college, we had a nearby liquor store that would sell to us if we showed them a student ID and told them we were 21. I had no idea what kind of booze I liked (everything made me throw up... weird...) so I would just grab anything that I'd heard of and hop my skinny ass right on out of there. And then the buyer's remorse would set in. A panic purchase, even if it turns out alright, has the potential to be a bottle of Burnett's Gin with a chaser of Gatorade… gross in anyone's book.
Most people put considerably more thought into moving forward with a relationship than teen Tom Miller did with purchasing illegal booze, but the idea that you didn't have the proper time to think things through is always on a guy's mind. This is especially true when he's not sure if he's a vodka dude, a scotch snob or a regular, old Budweiser broseph. If your guy is a little drag-footed, it has as much or more to do with him not knowing himself as it does with his level of commitment to you. Dudes Not Really Afraid Of Commitment
While fairly trite, is there a kernel of truth in the bonked-out adage that women get married to the right person and men get married at the right time? And be sure to check out the original post from Good Men Project.