5 Weird Things That Reveal You're In A Really Shaky Relationship
You're not in love if these situations sound familiar.
If your partner calls you "pookie," beware — one book claims that mushy pet names for your partner actually indicate problems and that you have a shaky relationship.
In the book Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex, authors Maggie Arana and Julienne Davis elaborate on a number of couple habits that ruin relationships by eroding attraction.
Cute nicknames like "honey" sound androgynous and generic, thus stripping the person of erotic appeal and individuality.
Other harmful practices include sharing hygiene habits and being intimate at the kitchen table to revive an interest in intimacy itself.
On the one hand, it feels sweet to receive justification for our annoyance at lovey-dovey couples. We get it, you're in love... or aren't you?
The book riles against "cute" nicknames, which seems to add up.
It's less annoying to outsiders to hear you calling your husband a playful, original nickname than something saccharine like "sweetie pie." And some gentle, playful teasing and silly nicknames are actually good for a relationship.
Of course, the wrong nickname can spell doom for a relationship, as it did for one couple who found themselves headed for divorce after the wife found out her husband had taken to calling her "Guantanamo."
Let's take the "honey" argument a step further by outlining five annoying couple habits that can end in a breakup.
Here are 5 weird things that reveal you're in a really shaky relationship:
1. You brag that you never fight
Telling people you don't fight with each other may make you feel superior at handling relationships, but it also suggests that you're not confident enough in your relationship's ability to grow from conflict.
2. You're attached at the hip.
Bringing your boyfriend to a girls' night out on more than one occasion might indicate that you no longer know how to function as an individual.
To avoid getting bored with each other, happy couples make their own friends and hobbies so they can bring separate experiences to the table.
3. You talk about your kids 24/7
Dr. Laurie Puhn, a couples mediator, claims that excessive attention on your kids de-romances the relationship. Eventually, your connection becomes completely dependent on your children. While we can see the truth in this argument, we're willing to forgive new parents who are still figuring out how to balance their social lives with child-rearing.
4. You constantly act as a matchmaker for your single friends
While it's great to help people find love, becoming a serial matchmaker not only comes across as condescending but may suggest that you're trying to live vicariously through someone else's dating life.
5. You and your partner show excessive PDA
Puhn says that excessive PDA may be overcompensating for areas in your relationship that are lacking.
Chemistry is essential, but only verbal communication and an emotional connection will deepen your relationship beyond the point where you publicly surrender to lust.
Denise Ngo is a freelance web writer and editor specializing in love, dating, and relationships. She is the Managing Editor of Loverish and a writer for PopSci.