Why Facebook Defriending Can Help You Move On

Ah, Facebook.

It is the bane of my existence, yet I still have an active profile. Mostly because it only seems bad when it comes to relationships. For example, there was that one woman who found out about her husband's second wife only after stumbling upon an online album of their wedding photos. And in my case, I'm pretty sure that Facebook chat was key in making my boy toy perpetually unavailable.

But that's what Facebook does, right? It's an electronic gateway to animosity, especially when it comes to your relationship status. Should We Share Relationship Problems On Facebook?

When I'd had enough of my friend with benefits, I deleted him. Immature? Maybe. But I'm not the first, nor will I be the last to do so. In fact, media professor Ilana Gershon highlights women who have done the same in her book, The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New Media. In her book, she talks to four women about how they defriended and deleted their exes from their lives, pointing out how defriending can allow you to "sever all ties" with a person, while deleting a person's number  from your cell phone can prevent you from calling them in a moment of weakness. Gershon then goes on to explain the virtual fallout of breakups. Facebook Manners And You

Why does it hurt so bad? When you're defriended, your access to your ex is revoked. You can no longer see updates on his or her life, or check in on what he's doing, and with whom. This can be frustrating. But while you may feel offended by how purposeful the act of defriending is, you should also acknowledge that he may be angry or hurting over the end of your relationship, something that stings far more than the loss of a Facebook friend. Why You Should Remain Facebook Friends With An Ex

And perhaps it's for the best. Braving singlehood is a process and you don't want to take steps back when you're working to move forward.

How do you feel about defriending your ex?

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