If He Really Wants To Marry You, He'll Put A Ring On It

Holly Madison wanted to marry Hugh Hefner for a very long time. She was his long-term "main" girlfriend for seven years, and for awhile that was enough.

Pretty soon though, she wanted more. She wanted a wedding, and children and the ever-important privileges of being a someone's wife. Hugh's wife in particular. Holly said that she wanted those things plenty of times. And plenty of times Hef said another marriage just wasn't in the cards for him. He was unwilling to tie the knot. After seven years, Holly finally packed her bags. We're sure she thought Hef just didn't want to get married. As in, he just didn't want to get married in general.

And now, we can see why the girl might be a little peeved about Hugh's engagement to Crystal Harris after less than two years of being together. But for Holly, and women everywhere, this should serve as a wake-up call. Even Hugh Hefner will get married if he really wants to, no matter what he has said in the past to the contrary. Holly Madison Is Upset About Hugh Hefner’s Engagement

"When a man says he isn't ready to get married, believe him!" YourTango Expert Julie Spira says. "Often a woman thinks if she waits around long enough, he'll realize that she's the one he wants to marry."

Many women want to believe that the man she is with just needs time. Eventually he will be ready for marriage, and the person he will want to marry is her. Spira says that just isn't the case.

"I know of many situations where women have waited for three years for their man to commit. Every Christmas or New Year's she'd wait for the ring to arrive, and when it didn't, she had to decide whether to break up or give him another extension," she says. "Those were bad patterns being set. When a man feels it for you, realizes his life is so much better because of you, and doesn't want to lose you, he'll suddenly go from being a commitment-phobe to the marrying kind." Why Do Men Get Married?

Holly is not alone in her frustration. We're sure you know of a few women who have waited around for that sparkly diamond and the big wedding. And they waited. And waited some more. And then after they'd finally had it, when they finally said enough is enough and moved on, he is suddenly into marriage—with another woman.

"In one case, a woman stayed with her boyfriend for seven years. He claimed she was the 'love of his life' but never put a ring on her finger. After they broke up, he was engaged within three months to his next-door neighbor," Spira says. "When a man gives excuses such as he's waiting for his business to improve or sees himself being married to you five years down the road, they are just that." What To Do If He Doesn’t Believe In Marriage

So ladies, the moral of the story is that if he wants to marry you, he will. It's just that simple. Excuses are excuses. If you want to marry him and he's says he isn't ready to get married or he doesn't want to get married, he is not worth any more of your precious time. Don't end up like Holly, watching the guy you spent the better part of a decade with put a ring on someone else's finger. Get rid of him now, and find the guy who does want to spend the rest of his life with you.