Not Tonight: What's Behind Your Lackluster Libido
What your low libido might mean, and what you can do to fix it.
We hear lots about male sex drive. They either want a lot of sex, or they need Viagra® or some other type of "enhancer" to start things up. And it's no secret that as men get a bit older, they may need to use some sort of supplement to help things along.
Women often have issues with sex drive too, but the problem is often chalked up to women simply not being as sexually driven as men. Unfortunately, that's just not true. Women also have a deep need and desire for sex.
There are some things that will reduce the female sex drive, and fortunately, none of them are untreatable! Here are some of the causes of reduced sex drive in women:
• Stress - Stress is one of the major causes of lack of sex drive for women. When a woman is suffering from stress, her body is robbed of many of the essential building blocks it uses to produce estrogen and testosterone. Both estrogen and testosterone are a necessary for a healthy sex drive. When over-stressed, a body will choose to try to protect itself and conserve energy rather than seeking pleasure.
• Hormones - As women enter perimenopause and menopause, hormones fluctuate wildly. Hormonal imbalances are often accompanied by other symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings and weight gain. Women often just don't feel sexy when experiencing these things. It is interesting to note that human females need their own pheromones to feel turned on. If the pheromones aren't there, it's more difficult to be in the mood.
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• Medications – Birth control pills, drugs for depression and anxiety, and even blood-pressure medication can cause your libido to dip or make it difficult to orgasm. You may be able to take an alternate medication or dose to solve the problem, but don't experiment on your own. Check with your doctor to see what can be done.
• Diet - Poor nutrition or very low-fat diets are horrible for sex drive. The body needs lipids (found in fats) to make hormones, including testosterone.
• Issues with Spouse/Partner - Sometimes the stress of a relationship that isn't working well dampens sexual desire. Often this happens after years and years when the woman gets older and her feelings about "how life should be" begin to change. Behavior that was tolerated in the past is now resented.
• Physical Changes - As women age, changes take place in the vagina causing thinning and dryness. This can cause pain during intercourse, so a woman may begin to dread sex because of the pain.
• Being Single - Sometimes being single and the prospect of dating is just too overwhelming. So they avoid it and give up on having a sex life.
For women, rediscovering your sex drive isn't as easy as taking a small pill a few hours before intercourse. But it's not impossible to regain your sex drive and enjoy sex with all the exuberance that you did before. Here are some tips that might help:
• Talk to your doctor - See your doctor to discuss options and rule out possible physical problems.
• Relax - Stress is a major player in wreaking havoc with sex drive. Explore the many ways available to reduce stress in your life. Exercise, meditate, pray, write in a journal, take time each day for YOU, go to the salon once a week for a pedicure, take a walk in the park, see a counselor, take a kick-boxing class. You get the idea. Find ways to relax, even if it's for ten minutes a day.
• See a Nutritionist - Make sure your diet is correct for your needs. Also, ask about vitamin, mineral and/or herbal supplements that may help. look into raw foods for optimal health.
• Address the Physical Changes in Your Body - If you're suffering from vaginal dryness and discomfort, use vitamin E suppositories a couple of times a week, or go to the pharmacy and purchase a personal lubricant made especially for helping with this problem.
• Be Sexy - So, you might not be 20 any longer. You can still be sexy and hot. Go to the makeup counter at your favorite store and learn some new makeup tricks. Freshen your hairstyle, put on a sexy fragrance and light some candles. It's amazing what wonders small changes like these can produce.
• Communicate - Your partner probably has no idea what's going on. Be open and honest. Let your partner know what you need to help things along. Maybe you need some time and understanding. Maybe you need to see a couple's counselor. Do your best to communicate openly.
Sex drive is an important part of human life. We are meant to enjoy sex well into our golden years. If you are suffering from a waning sex drive, there are steps you can take to refresh your desire.
Tiffany Washko is the editor of GoddessOfTheGarden.com , a raw foods reform site for women that focuses on transitioning to health and happiness with the power of a raw foods diet.