How To Keep Your Man: Communication

Unfortunately, we men aren't the mind readers many women seem to think and hope that we are. We are just not that gifted. More often than not we need to be told things, straight up and in plain English, for us to get the message and for it to sink in.

If something is on your mind, tell us. Don't just walk around presuming our powerful intuition will naturally kick in and we'll tune into the signals. We may pick up on the vibe, but we won't know exactly what it is. The chances of a light clicking on in our minds and the inner voice saying, "Ah ha, I know what it is," are very slim.

Once you have decided to talk to your man about something that is on your mind, you then have to decide on the best possible approach bring it up. This will depend on several factors.

• The nature of the subject

• Your mood and his

• The temperament of your partner

If the subject of your discussion or concern is of a sensitive nature, particularly for him, then you will have to choose your timing and words very carefully. Maybe even run it by a close friend first - preferably one who knows both you and your partner - what it is you want to say to your man, just in case it sounds like it might be coming out all wrong, or could be misinterpreted.

If you are upset about something, or angry, try to refrain from announcing the issue while in this frame of mind. Approaching your man when you are angry will more than likely just lead to an argument. If a man feels like he is being verbally attacked (or is about to be) he will naturally go into defensive mode to repel that attack, and anything on your mind that you want to convey will either come out all wrong, or the problem will just be exacerbated. Likewise, if he is in a negative or moody mindset, wait until his mood is lighter before approaching him.

Every man varies, as we all know, and that also applies to one's temperament. Some men are very calm and relaxed, even in the face of adversity. Others are angered easily. Only you know the temperament of your man. Always keep that in mind when bringing up any sort of touchy subject and act accordingly.

Be A Good Listener

Generally speaking women like to talk more than men. It's just a part of a woman's make up. However, men need to talk and express themselves as well.

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

• Effective Communication: Are You Listening?
• Single And Male? Online Dating Tips Just For You
• If You Want A Long-Term Commitment, Ask These Questions

Sometimes your man will need to vent about the happenings of the day. Or he may have something on his mind that he just needs to get off his chest or bounce off of you.

Be a good listener. Be attentive. Even if you don't particularly want to hear about his day at work or whatever, take the time out to listen to him anyway. You don't necessarily need to comment or offer an opinion. Just listen, be genuinely sympathetic or empathetic and let him know that you are always there for him if he needs to speak his mind.

Male or female, we all need to know that our partner is there for us in every way, and that they will always have an attentive ear if we need to talk.

Feedback and Input

If you are with a man who never seeks your input nor respects your feedback, or a man who constantly ridicules you for your feedback and input, then he is not the kind of man you want to keep. Hopefully most readers are not with an egotistical, insensitive brute like that.

A regular guy genuinely enjoys and respects feedback from the woman in his life. If he's smart he'll realise that he actually needs it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, male or female, and there are always certain insights a woman can offer a situation that a man just won't see.

Real men want you to express your views on things, to tell them honestly what you think. Whether your man agrees with what you have to say or not is irrelevant. The important thing is that you are showing an interest in something he is doing, is planning on doing, or is interested in. If you really don't like something he's made, for example, try to be tactful in saying so. Maybe offer some tips for improvement? If the feedback has some positive element or angle attached to it, it will almost always be well received.

Any man worth being with will relish feedback and input from his partner.

Darren G. Burton had been writing for more than 20 years. He has had numerous articles and short stories published in major publications and has written several full-length books and novels.

The above article is an excerpt from his latest book - How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good