Young Woman Whose 'Dysfunctional' Family Doesn’t Prioritize The Holidays Spends Christmas Morning Alone
The holidays aren't always happy and that's okay.
Just Life / Shutterstock Christmas day has come and gone, leaving discarded gift wrap and half-empty mugs of hot chocolate in its wake. For some, the end of the holiday season is a relief, especially for those who don’t get along with their families.
A young woman’s 'dysfunctional' family doesn’t prioritize holidays, so she spent Christmas morning alone.
Sami, a 19-year-old content creator, recorded herself sitting in her car on Christmas morning, documenting that not everyone’s holidays are full of cheer. She shared a message designed for anyone who spent the holiday on their own, acknowledging that "holidays can be really hard, especially when you’re on social media, seeing people posting with their families and you don’t have that.”
“Merry Christmas, from someone who has a horribly dysfunctional family,” she said. “Obviously, I have a family, but we’re not together right now. Holidays are just not prioritized in my family and I really wish they were.”
Sami commented on the challenges of being active on social media, sharing a well-established yet often quiet truth: It’s easy to feel bad about ourselves when we see other people’s lives reflected back to us online and they seem to be happier than we are.
Photo: Stock-Asso / Shutterstock
“It’s really hard seeing people post with their families and seeing all my friends posting all their presents under the tree and everyone getting all dressed up and having dinner with their family,” she revealed. “I don’t have that, at all.”
The negative effects of comparison culture can feel especially amplified at times when we’re expected to have a shared social experience, like joyfully being surrounded by family on Christmas.
“Go enjoy your family, go be with your family, this video is not for you,” Sami said to those who can't relate to her plight. “This video is for the people who are alone on Christmas morning.”
Sami offered words of encouragement for those in a similar situation as her own. “We’ll make the best out of it. It’s okay. We are healthy and breathing and it’s a beautiful day today," she said. "This is just a reminder that if you’re spending Christmas alone, you’re not alone."
Sami recognized there was a lot of good in her life, yet being part of a dysfunctional family during the holiday season was hard for her.
She qualified her post, saying, “People are probably going to take this the wrong way, and be like, ‘At least you have a roof over your head, at least you can buy yourself Starbucks, at least you have a nice car.’ Yes, I’m very, very, very grateful for my life… I’m very aware that a lot of people are unable to do that.”
Still, she noted, “It’s really hard seeing people with their families and I am not with my family.”
She gave voice to a part of the holiday season that’s often silenced: Sometimes, being with family is harder than being alone.
“I’m not trying to get anyone’s pity,” she said. “I’m solely making this for people to relate to. Holidays are so hard.”
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
“I have a great life and I’m very fortunate, and I have a great job and everything, and that doesn’t mean I have a perfect family,” she said.
She shared a final message to those feeling low and alone, saying, “I hope you have a great day today and I’m really sorry if you’re in my situation. And if you are, tomorrow is a new day and it’s not Christmas anymore.”
Sami’s family situation and her less-than-cheery Christmas morning mark an important reality, which is that two opposing things can be true at any given moment. We can hold multiple experiences at one time.
As Sami said, she has a good life, yet she still feels the loss of what she doesn’t have. By sharing her sense of Christmas grief, Sami showed that it’s okay to mourn on days we’re supposed to be joyful. Part of being human is carrying a vast array of emotions within ourselves. Airing those emotions is a hugely valuable way to seek meaning and find connection.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers mental health, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.