Woman Donates The Baby Supplies Her Financially Strapped Friend Asked For After She Blew Her Off At Christmas
At first blush it seems like petty retaliation. But is her friend actually just using her for her money?
GeorgeRudy / Canva Pro When you come from wildly different financial realities, friendships can be tough to manage. And as one woman on Reddit recently showed, it can also create some pretty toxic dynamics.
The woman retaliated by returning the baby gifts she bought for her cash-strapped friend.
Much like dating people of vastly different income brackets, people often find it very difficult to navigate friendships between "haves" and "have nots," because inevitably, the one with less money ends up excluded from activities.
Many more well-off people address this by being generous with their money when it comes to their penny-pinching friends. This is precisely the arrangement this woman had with one of her friends.
In her Reddit post, she wrote that one of her close girlfriends "has always been less fortunate than me." But because "I valued her friendship," she's always "happily paid for outings" and gone the extra mile to bridge the gap.
But when her friend got pregnant, something seemed to shift. They became deeply close at first, but when the Redditor found herself with a great new job, her friend suddenly stopped talking to her. She thought maybe it was a combination of stress and jealousy and continued reaching out.
When Christmas came, she stepped up to buy all kinds of supplies and gifts she knew her friend would need.
Knowing her friend needed help with her baby, the Redditor asked her what she and the baby would like for Christmas and received "a list of things that I could choose from" in return.
Despite their strained relationship, she really stepped up, buying "a lot of diapers, clothes, necessities and I bought this play thing that was a little expensive … So I had a lot of presents for her."
Since she was spending Christmas alone, she also invited her friend, her boyfriend, and the baby over to celebrate.
The friend said she had plans with her boyfriend's family, but the day after, the Redditor saw on social media that the young mom had actually spent the holiday with a different friend just 15 minutes down the road.
Worse still, the new mom then came out of the woodwork just a few days before her baby shower asking the Redditor if she'd like to come.
When she said she wouldn't be able to do so on such short notice, the new mom begged her to change her plans because she needed a ride. That was the last straw.
Feeling used, she retaliated by returning the baby gifts she bought and donating all the baby supplies to a women's shelter.
After the new mom made clear that she was desperate to get her hands on the things the woman had bought for her baby, her long-held notions were confirmed.
"Throughout our friendship, I always felt used," she wrote, telling of several occasions when this woman had made plans with her because her car broke down or outing when she conveniently forgot her wallet.
"I decided that I'm done with her," she wrote. "I messaged her that I won't be able to make it and she messaged me back [asking] when she can expect the presents then. I told her I gave them away."
Some thought her retaliation was cruel and unethical, but many agreed that the new mom had obviously been using her for her money.
A handful of people on Reddit felt like this woman had an obvious bias against her friend, and that she was "rubbing her money in her face." But it's hard to argue with all the signs that pointed to her instincts being correct — she was being used and had been for a long time.
Many applauded her for setting boundaries, even if she did it in a vengeful way. "Sometimes when you need to get rid of a user, you have to burn a bridge," one person on Reddit wrote. "You did that. Good! Now you can be free of her."
And others praised her for ultimately putting a positive spin on the situation with her generosity. "You're not [wrong] for setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being," one person wrote. "Redirecting your generosity to a women's shelter was a positive choice."
It's never easy to set boundaries, especially when a person is in somewhat dire straits like this woman's friend. But it's just as important to show up for yourself as it is to show up for others.
No one owes it to anyone to endure an inequitable relationship, no matter how high the stakes may be.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.