Wife Wonders If She Messed Up Asking Her Husband To Lose Weight — ‘I Worry He Won’t Meet Our Baby’
She's worried about his health and well-being more than anything.
Kenstock, minka2507, pixelshot, shahsoft, Dean Drobot, Koldunova_Anna / CanvaPro Weight is a sensitive topic for a lot of people — and reasonably so. It’s inherently entangled in so many different aspects of our lives, from social norms to beauty standards to our popular “health and wellness culture.”
That's why one wife on Reddit was hesitant to say anything after her husband gained a little bit of weight over the course of a few months, saying “the stress of his job” was affecting his eating habits. After he mentioned worried about his own health in their conversations about having another baby, she knew she needed to step in.
She asked him to lose a little bit of weight to ensure he’d be around for their kids long-term.
Although she says she “loves him with all [her] heart,” she’s starting to worry about him — “He’s at his biggest and if I get pregnant again, I worry he won’t even be here to meet his baby.”
However, his response was far from what she anticipated — so she returned to Reddit to figure out if she was in the wrong for how she approached the discussion.
The whole situation feels concerning to her, but she wanted to ensure she approached the situation empathetically, reminding him that she loves him regardless of his weight, and only wants to support him in being healthy.
She emphasized that he’s still ‘the most handsome’ man she’s ever met, but is worried his recent weight gain is affecting his health.
She was sure to remind her husband, and Reddit viewers, that the way her husband looks on the outside has absolutely nothing to do with her concern over his weight — rather, she’s worried about his health overall.
While gaining weight is not an inherent sign of unhealthiness, unexpected weight gain can be concerning for many people. Putting on a large amount of weight in a short period of time can sometimes be a sign of a health condition like heart disease.
“Yesterday, I asked him if he would consider trying to lose some weight,” the wife says. “I told him I’d help him every step of the way — we’ll go to the gym together, go for more walks, and make an effort to start eating healthier.”
After talking with her husband about his weight, his embarrassment made her reconsider her decision to bring it up at all.
“He got embarrassed and upset with me – asking if I love him anymore,” she wrote.
While she reassured him that “of course, she still loves him,” the husband continued to be upset. Asking for advice, she wonders if she’s handled it wrong.
“He told me that I just don’t understand what he’s going through and how hard it is to find the motivation," she wrote.
People in the comments wondered just how drastically this husband’s weight had fluctuated over the past few months as it seems this woman is taking it very seriously. Comments on her post served as a reminder that weight isn’t inextricably tied to “health," and it seems like this woman acknowledges that. She’s simply suggesting the couple change some of their “more unhealthy” eating and lifestyle habits that have contributed to the weight gain.
However, most people agreed that it’s always “a hard discussion to have,” no matter your relationship.
Weight gain can severely impact anyone’s self-confidence and self-esteem, especially when it’s unexpected. In addition, societal norms and culture tend to place shame on weight gain, and it can be difficult to not internalize those narratives.
Despite many commenters’ beliefs she handled the conversation “very well” and was “very supportive,” it’s hard to expect how anyone will react to a conversation like this.
For anyone going through a similar situation, many people suggest using a doctor or other professional to start the conversation — using them as a neutral ground to implement new habits and lifestyle changes.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.