If You Feel Like This When Things Go Well, You're Part Of The 20% Of People Who Are Highly Sensitive
It's important to recognize what's happening to you before it leads to self-sabotage.
Slatan Alissa Boyer is a highly sensitive person mentor who is committed to helping the HSPs among us to stop apologizing for who they are, and instead understand better why they feel and act the ways they do.
Boyer writes, "Ever had that experience where things are going well… and then suddenly, you feel really anxious? Like you 'should' be worrying about something??"
If this sounds familiar, you may be a highly sensitive person.
"If I’m too excited or too happy then something bad is going to happen to ruin it."
A sense of impending doom is a common — and extremely frustrating — thought cycle for highly sensitive people.
Dr. Sheri Jacobson writes that if you experience constant worrying thoughts, this can indicate a plethora of issues. If you are experiencing disturbed sleep or increased stress — it can cause you to experience worrying thoughts. Or if you abuse alcohol or drugs, this can also put you at risk for constant worrying thoughts, says Jacobson.
Those who have childhood trauma or severe personality disorders are at the highest risk for these negative thought cycles.
As you can imagine, experiencing negative thoughts daily can impact you and make your symptoms worse.
Journalist Hilary I. Lebow notes other ways your body may react to an impending sense of doom, which include:
- Shortness of breath
- Feeling disconnected from reality
- Heart palpitations or an increased heart rate
- Pain in your stomach
- Sweating and bodily temperature changes
- Shakiness
If you want to combat these symptoms, seeking help from a qualified professional is always a great place to start. You can also try deep breathing, like the Wim Hof technique, and practicing true self-care.
"You miss the opportunity to feel joy because it actually doesn’t feel safe for you to feel joy."
Another important thing to note about worrying thoughts and a sense of impending doom is the effect they can have on relationships.
Boyer says, "As you ruminate and stress, not only do you miss the opportunity to feel joy, but you begin to feel unsafe."
“You might end up trying to sabotage it because you’re so used to the toxicity and you’re afraid they’re going to hurt you as everyone else has hurt you," says life coach Angelika Koch.
If you aren't sure if you are engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors, see how many of these you can check off of this list created by writer Hope Gillette and healthcare practitioner and professor Dr. Debra Rose Wilson.
Signs You Self-Sabotage
- You engage in emotional or physical cheating.
- You have difficulty committing in relationships.
- You hold grudges.
- You engage in passive-aggressive behavior.
- You don't show gratitude in your relationships.
- You experience communication issues.
- You're expecting your partner to be a mind reader when it comes to meeting your needs.
- You set unrealistic expectations in your relationship.
- You're emotionally unavailable
- You're disrespectful or abusive with your partner.
In order to break this toxic cycle and lessen your sense of impending doom, you must take compassionate responsibility for your actions.
Don't mistake accountability and responsibility for shame and guilt. Have compassion for yourself and get curious about what may be making you want to destroy things that are good for you, consciously or not.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.