Teacher Tells Mom She's Not Allowed To Give Out Birthday Invitations In Class Despite Assistant Principal Giving Permission
The teacher claimed that handing out invitations in class "went against school policy."
Prostock-studio / VladisloveM / Shutterstock Birthday parties have always caused debate among elementary school parents. Whether it’s who should be invited, or how much to spend on a classmate's present, it's an endless source of drama for parents and teachers alike.
One mother recently found herself in a disagreement with her daughter’s kindergarten teacher over invitations for her daughter’s upcoming birthday party. The mother hoped that she would be able to send the invitations to school with her daughter to hand out to her classmates, but her teacher wasn't having it.
The teacher refused to allow the woman’s daughter to hand out birthday party invitations to her classmates.
In a TikTok video that has been viewed over 8,000 times, Bobbie Hoskins explained why her daughter’s teacher shut her down after she sent her in with birthday party invitations.
Hoskins said that she was “extremely irritated” with the teacher, and encouraged others to let her know if she was in the wrong.
“Before Christmas break, I made invitations for every student in my daughter’s class to pass out for her birthday party that’s coming up this weekend,” Hoskins shared. However, her daughter came home with all of the invitations after her teacher refused to allow her to pass them out in class.
According to the teacher, letting students pass out invitations on school grounds went against school policy. She advised Hoskins to mail the invitations to her daughter’s classmates instead. “The problem with that is that I don’t know each kid and I don’t know each parent,” Hoskins said.
Hoskins explained that as a kindergartner in her first year at a new school, “There’s no way I’m gonna know all of the parents’ contact [information] for this birthday party.”
The mother eventually decided to pay a visit to the school’s main office to consult with staff members as to how she should handle the situation.
The assistant principal granted her permission to send the invitations with her daughter to hand out to her class.
“[He] told me that as long as I have enough invitations to pass out in class, I would be able to send her invitations back to her teacher and he will personally tell the teacher that she can pass out invitations in class,” Hoskins said.
However, when her daughter’s teacher was told that the little girl would be allowed to pass out the invitations in class, she rolled her eyes and still protested, stating that it was “against school policy.” The teacher also claimed that it would be “unfair” to the other students and parents to allow Hoskins’ daughter to pass out invitations and bend the rules.
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“Why does my child have to be punished even though we spent effort and time getting these invitations together to pass out to these kids?” she wondered, given that she obtained permission from the school’s assistant principal to pass them out.
A few days later, Hoskins received a typed letter from her daughter’s teacher still refusing to allow her daughter to pass out invitations.
“She says that she spoke with administration, and she’s not gonna pass out the invitations and that I have to do it off-campus because that’s the policy,” the frustrated mother revealed.
Hoskins admitted that at this point, she was irritated with the entire school over their “stupid” policy. Now, instead of having all of her daughter’s classmates at her birthday party, she had no choice but to exclude some of them since she couldn't get the word out to their parents.
“I’m very irritated because I’m putting a lot of time and effort into the birthday party, and I can't even give them [the invitations] out because she [the teacher] is going to refuse to give out the invitations,” Hoskins said.
It was especially frustrating for Hoskins given the fact that she is a member of the PTA who is heavily involved in her daughter’s education and social life on campus.
Most people shared the mother’s frustration over the situation.
They noted that had Hoskins only had invitations for a few of the classmates and not all of them, it would have been an entirely different matter. However, she was doing everything in her power to ensure that every child was included and her attempts were shot down.
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“You had an invite for every kid. That is so crazy that that is the policy. How are you supposed to know these parents?” one TikTok user pointed out. “That teacher must've not been invited to a party as a child because she is definitely doing too much,” another user commented.
However, others believed that the teacher had a right to deny party invitations being handed out in class especially if it went against school policy. “This isn’t the school's problem. Teachers have too much going on and your expectations are a burden,” one user wrote.
“If administration comes to you and says they are going to do something and have not pulled up the policy it's a catch-22 for teachers,” another user noted.
There were other options for sending out the invitations this mom didn't consider.
“You ask the room mom for the email list and send e-vite,” one user recommended.
“Email the assistant principal with the teacher copied stating the conversation you had with the AP. If this is a policy, it should be written out. Somewhere, where they can reference. Sounds like they need to make an exception,” another user commented.
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Some teachers even responded to the mother’s video, claiming that if it were them, they would have no issue allowing students to pass out birthday party invitations as long as the whole class was being invited and it did not go against school policies.
A few even came to Hoskins’ daughter’s teacher’s defense, sharing that there is already so much happening in the classroom and passing out birthday party invitations would only pose as a greater distraction.
The rules regarding students handing out birthday party invitations in class can vary depending on the specific policies of the school or educational institution, but as a parent and a PTA member, chances are Hoskins had access to a parent directory.
She could have even called a parent she had contact information for and asked for advice, but instead, what should have been a happy occasion turned into school drama.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.