Stressed Single Mom 'Destroyed' By What Her Babysitter Shared About Her Children's 'Disappointment' In Her
She's struggling to juggle everything.
christinarosepix / Shutterstock Single parenthood is no picnic, to say the absolute least, and makes the already staggering workload of motherhood all the more challenging.
One mom online is really struggling to keep it all in balance and the fact her children have noticed has her feeling deeply guilty.
The stressed single mom was 'emotionally destroyed' by her children's disappointment amid her struggles.
In her Reddit post, the single mom shared that she was battling a litany of problems that will likely sound very familiar to most single moms out there, from a punishing schedule to a lack of space for self-care and sleep deprivation.
At just 26, she was struggling. "I work full time, clean, cook, grocery shop, take care of the kids, etc. all on my own," she wrote. "I have no time for myself and what little time I do I have I try to spend it with the kids."
On top of her single parenting demands, she struggled at work and with her family.
"Lately I've been very worn down," she said, because her burdens went far beyond just child-rearing. "I spend all day at work being yelled at by ungrateful people over $5 fees when they have over $500,000 in their accounts," she wrote, "[then] go home and do the same thing all over again."
She had no help from her family or the fathers of her children. "My mom is sick and doesn't help much even when she's feeling well," she said. "My dad is an alcoholic and can't be trusted with them alone."
She explained that as much as she adores her kids, their constant energy was often more than she could handle. "I would do anything for them … [but] my kids constantly hang on me. Grabbing at my arms, legs, hair, feet. Anything they can do to touch me."
Her babysitter said her son is sad that his mom never reads to him.
"The other day my babysitter told me that my son wishes I would read more to him," she wrote. "It tore my heart out to know how I'm making him feel that way."
But she was at a loss how to make it better. "I'm so tired from my day I can't keep my eyes open," she confessed. "I can tell this disappoints [my kids] and it kills me every time … But I'm only one person and can only do so much."
"I feel like a failure to my kids," she went on to say. "Every day I wake knowing what the day brings and knowing that by the end of it all I'll be crying myself to sleep knowing I didn't do enough … There's just not enough time in the day for everything and I know my kids are the ones suffering for it."
The mom received an outpouring of support from people who urged her to give herself a break.
This stressed single mom was right.
She is only one person, and all of us are limited in terms of how much we can do and how much we can emotionally manage over the course of the day. The problem for this woman, and surely most single moms, is that her children are too young to understand this.
But that doesn't make her a bad mom. She is doing the best she can. And commenters on Reddit made it their mission to make sure she knew it. "This difficult time will not last forever," one person wrote. "You’re doing a great job, and one day your kids will see that clearly."
"Sometimes keeping them clean, fed, and loved is the best we can do," a fellow parent wrote. "Remember that. You're doing the best that you can with what you've got, and that's good enough … Please remember to be kind to yourself."
A few even pushed back on the notion she was failing at all. "You’re balancing everything pretty well," one wrote. "She's a super hero," another added.
Others shared hints that might help her along, from buying a crockpot to save cooking time, to bathing her kids every other night instead of nightly to free up a bit more time. One person suggested recording herself reading books in the free moments she did have and then listening to them with her son before bed so that they could both relax together.
The ideas haven't fixed her life to perfection, of course, but they left her feeling hopeful again. "I fell into a deep rut and shut down," she wrote, "and I think I needed all the kind words I had here today to pull me out of it." It inspired her to take better care of herself, too.
Our culture makes motherhood impossible. It sets standards that virtually no mother can rise to, let alone ones going it alone.
But it's important to remember that most parents are doing a far better job than they think. And sometimes, they just need to hear it.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.