7 Signs You Have A Charming Personality That Makes People Want To Know You
You easily draw people in.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock When you're charming, people are not only more receptive to what you have to say, but you maintain good relationships with others despite different opinions and backgrounds, and your self-belief manifests into success at work or school.
Charm is also an influence multiplier. It makes people feel happy and grateful. They will do what you may ask them to do, and offer all their attention and care. Charming people tend to have the easiest time at work and in life because the people around them trust and support them.
But what does it mean to have a charming personality? Charisma is an invisible aura of positive vibrations that make you attractive, and it might be due to inborn or self-developed behavior.
Here are 7 signs you have a charming personality that makes people want to know you
1. You're fearless
You love to try new things every single day, no matter how weird or fearful. Perhaps you invite your pals to go wild camping in the woods, and while you're thinking of all the fun things to do, they are worried about bears or snakes.
No matter what new things you wish to try, others admire your adventurous attitude toward life. Trying new things makes you more attractive because it shows you aren't afraid to step out of your comfort zone. It also shows that you are confident and secure in who you are.
People are drawn to those who are comfortable in their skin and aren't afraid to embrace new experiences.
2. You can laugh at yourself
Someone smarter than me once said, "The ability to laugh at yourself is the hottest quality a person can have."
And it's true, because when you crack a self-deprecating joke or make light of a situation, it says two things about you: 1) You know yourself, and 2) You're confident enough not to take yourself too seriously.
This is incredibly attractive to others because it's a sign that you are secure enough to not get defensive or offended by every little thing. It also suggests you can roll with the punches and aren't afraid to poke fun at yourself.
As Carl Reiner once said, "Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge."
3. You make others feel comfortable
A psychological study suggests that it's a part of your personality that makes someone comfortable in your presence. The term is called "affective presence."
Because you have a charming personality, you have the uncanny ability to make anyone feel like your best friend. It may almost seem like a parlor trick, but it's just who you are. If you spend more than five minutes with someone, the other person likely walks away thinking they have a new best friend.
Zen Chung / Pexels
You have this magical ability to make everyone feel special, but people are likely to be drawn to you without knowing why. However, it has something to do with your ability to be present. You aren't thinking about yourself or your next move; rather, you are completely focused on the other person.
You have a knack for making people feel included, asking personal questions in a non-intrusive way. And if you can make others feel like they belong to you, you have a very charming personality.
4. You embrace vulnerability
In her book "Daring Greatly," Brené Brown talks about the importance of vulnerability: Vulnerability is not weakness. It's being open and honest about your struggles and fears. It's admitting when you need help or feel lost.
It takes guts to be vulnerable because we live in a world that tells us to suck it up and deal with our problems on our own. Yet, when you open up to others, it creates a bond that's hard to break. In psychology, it's called the pratfall effect.
For example, there's a big difference between saying, "I had a tough day at work" and "I feel like I'm not good enough, and I'm afraid I might get fired." The first statement is surface level. The second one requires courage, but it lets the other person in. It creates trust.
If you don't shy away from showing your vulnerable side, you have a charming personality because that's how people perceive you.
5. You easily accommodate others
As a charming person, you always know someone who can help with a favor or two. You make others feel special that you can accommodate them in what would seem to be an otherwise impossible scenario.
When you make someone feel like they're a part of something special, it creates an instant bond. It makes them want to be around you more.
Elon Musk does this with his product launches. Steve Jobs did it, too. They don't just announce a new product; they make you feel like you're part of a revolution. They give you a sense that by being there, you are changing the world.
You can do this on a smaller scale. If you have good gossip, share it with others. If you know something interesting about someone, let the person know. If you have an "in" somewhere, invite people along.
Making others feel like they're insiders creates a strong sense of loyalty. It's one of the most charming things you can do.
6. You feel comfortable in silence
We've all been in situations where there's an awkward silence. Maybe you're on a first date and the conversation hits a lull. Or you're at a party and you find yourself standing alone.
Most people don't know what to do in these situations. They start to feel anxious and their mind races, trying to think of something — anything — to say.
But charming people sit with the awkwardness of those moments. They don't try to fill the silence with meaningless small talk. They just relax and let the moment be what it is.
If you do this, it doesn't mean you're not paying attention; you're just comfortable with silence, and you know it's not the end of the world if there's a lull in a conversation.
7. You're an excellent listener
The best conversations are not the ones where both people talk equally; rather, the best conversations are often the ones in which one person does most of the talking, and the other person does most of the listening.
If you're a good listener, people will be drawn to you because they know they can trust you with their secrets and stories. They know you're not just waiting for your turn to speak — you're genuinely interested in what they have to say.
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A great listener is also a good communicator. Because you have a charming personality, you know how to ask the right questions at the right time, and you're not afraid to be vulnerable and share your own stories.
People are attracted to those who are open and honest, so if you're a good listener, you're also a charming person.
Darshak Rana is a writer, entrepreneur, and believer in spirituality. His bylines have appeared in Business Insider, Medium, NewsBreak, Illumination, The Good Men Project, The Writing Cooperative, and more.