4 Proven Strategies To Trust Yourself And Live Regret-Free, According To Research
How to trust your instincts and take control of your life.
Yuvraj Singh | Unsplash No matter which path we choose, there will always be a voice in our heads asking us, "What if"? What if I miss out on something? What if I don’t get it right? Or what if it doesn’t work out?
Asking "what if" is part of being human, but painful regrets don't need to dominate your life. The most important step to avoiding painful regrets in life is to focus on what is important to you. A little bit of selfishness is not going to hurt you or others if it means starting to trust yourself.
Here are 4 proven strategies to trust yourself and live regret-free, according to research:
1. Visualize your goals
Get a clear picture of what you want, where you're going, and how to get there.
One of the best ways to do this is to surround yourself with inspiring and uplifting people who are willing to share their knowledge and experience. A 2023 study showed how a person's reputation, combined with how close they are to another person, predicts the perceived trustworthiness of an individual. Learn and grow from those who’ve gone before you, but don’t hold them on a pedestal.
If someone says something that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, let that one go.
2. Avoid other people’s drama
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We each create our own life story and live accordingly. Some people prefer to stay in the drama genre. Just because they tell you about their problems doesn’t mean they want your help. Let them find solutions to their problems.
A 10-year study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology explored the interrelationship between avoidance coping (or avoiding help), life stressors, and depressive symptoms. The study found that avoidance coping generated both chronic and acute life stressors, was directly linked to future depressive symptoms, and affected the depressive symptoms of those who were emotionally close to the avoidant person.
3. Take good care of yourself, both emotionally and physically
Maybe you feel like you’re putting everyone else's needs first and not practicing the self-care that you know you need. It’s your responsibility to nourish your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. How you treat your needs is reflected in how the outside world treats you back.
Make decisions that feel right for you, not everyone else. Decisions made purely out of fear, obligation, or guilt are not going to serve anyone in the long term, yourself included.
4. Live your life positively
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Start the day with the question “How can I make a difference today?” This will help you focus on what you love doing and what you’re good at. When you approach your day this way, you are more likely to wake up on a mission instead of feeling bored, overwhelmed, and "over it".
Research from Frontiers in Psychology explained how regret is a complex interaction of different emotions that can result in "anger toward oneself, disappointment, anger toward circumstances, and satisfaction" dependent on the outcomes.
The most painful regrets often come because we don't have the confidence to do what we want, or we choose a path based on fear. Whenever we do something out of fear, guilt, or obligation, we end up complicating our lives and looking back, wishing we had made a different decision.
Each day presents us with an opportunity to make the most of life by being who we are and using all of who we are to make a difference, however big or small. To the degree that you've given it your best by living in the moment and listening to yourself, then you can never look back at life in regret.
Suzi Petrozzi is a Wellness Psychologist + Women's Empowerment Coach. She empowers smart professional women to get clear on what they want, take charge of their lives, and make it happen!
