Mother Refuses To Force Her 14-Year-Old Daughter To Apologize To The 'Class Clown' After Lashing Out At Her — 'That Kid Is A Brat'
She claimed that her daughter was fed up with the disruptive behavior of her fellow classmate.
fizkes / Shutterstock A mother admitted that she wasn't sure she made the right choice after telling her daughter that she didn't have to apologize for making another student in her class upset.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," the mom revealed that her daughter had gotten in trouble at school, but she felt that the punishment was undeserved.
She refused to force her teenage daughter to apologize to the 'class clown' after she lashed out at her.
In her Reddit post, she explained that her 14-year-old daughter, Ava, was usually a pretty good child and didn't cause any problems at school. On top of getting excellent grades, she was usually quiet in class, stuck to her friend group, and didn't have any issues that would prompt her mom to come to the school.
That was why she was surprised to get a call that Ava had gotten in trouble one day and needed to be picked up from the front office. When she arrived at her daughter's school, she learned that Ava had snapped at another girl in her class named Mia, who had been branded as the "class clown."
Photo: Monkey Business Images / Canva Pro
"Mia was messing around in class [and] was dancing/singing during class for no reason. My daughter had enough and told her to shut the [expletive] up, no one likes her and she is the reason no one enjoys school," her mother wrote. A student had recorded the entire ordeal and Mia ended up bursting into tears and Ava was sent to the principal's office.
According to Ava's mother, the teacher had been trying to get Mia to sit down and stop disrupting the class since they were in the middle of a lesson. However, Mia kept ignoring the teacher's requests, and her disruptive behavior had been something that not only Ava but everyone in the class had to deal with for the last five months.
"The principal wanted my daughter to give an apology to her. I told them no and that we [were] leaving. This started the mom telling me her daughter needs an apology," Ava's mother continued. Instead of having her daughter apologize, Ava's mother argued that Mia was a "brat" who should learn how to behave in class.
Photo: halfpoint / Canva Pro
She claimed that if Mia and her antics weren't "so annoying" then Ava wouldn't have felt inclined to snap at her in the first place. Of course, this rebuttal only made Mia's mother angry.
"The principal has sent an email about conduct in the classroom and a new policy that if kids disrupt a class they will be taking action. Don’t know what that means yet," she admitted, adding that her daughter was still on the fence about apologizing.
Many people agreed that there wasn't one person who was at fault in this situation.
"The class clown, for being disruptive during class. The teacher, who should have shut the disruptive behavior down. The principal, who should have addressed both sides of the issue. Your daughter, whose response was over the top, cruel and vindictive. And you, for completely blowing a teaching moment," one Reddit user wrote.
Another user added, "Yikes, people are so black and white here. Two wrongs don't make a right. The class clown was being a brat, but it's not your daughter's job to call that out or do anything about it. It doesn't mean she was in the right for swearing at the kid either."
"What your daughter said was rude. I understand her frustration, but there are better ways to deal with it, and that's where you as a parent come in to teach her how to handle these situations better," a third user chimed in.
While Mia's disruptive behavior shouldn't have been tolerated, as many other commenters pointed out, disciplining the student fell on the shoulders of the teacher and the principal, not another student. Ava's choice of words was cruel and, at the end of the day, hurt the feelings of someone else, and that's never okay.
It's important that, as a parent, Ava's mother is encouraging her to understand that people may have different ways of expressing themselves, and both patience and tolerance are virtues that can go a long way in situations like this.
Rejecting the notion that her daughter should apologize sends the message that cruel words are acceptable in the "right" situation when that's not true, especially because there are better and more effective ways to handle conflict.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.