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Will I be forgiven?

Published on January 15, 2013 by a_non_e_mouse

I met a guy about 9 months ago. We started off as friends with benefits... He eventually decided he didn't want to continue with that. About a month later, we decided to work things out and "play things by ear", with the understanding that "if either of us meet another, then neither of us can get upset." So we had been hanging out steady, and things were great... Well, 3 days ago, I was hanging out with my best friend's ex boyfriend... We were drinking and were both very intoxicated... We ended up kissing and he left a hickies on my neck. I didn't sleep with him however. The next night I saw my "man." He noticed the marks and asked me where I had gotten them... I lied at first because I was scared but eventually told him where they came from. He also discovered some lewd texts I had sent to a guy in another state... He immediately asked if I had slept with them. I said no, because I didn't. The following day we break up. And since then, he's been hounding me saying I need to stop lying and tell him the truth. The truth is, I honestly had no idea that we were a "serious" couple...We had never had a talk that we were dating. And even so, I haven't slept with anyone other than him. But because I lied about the marks in the first place, he won't believe me. It's escalated to the point where he told my best friend's boyfriend that me and her both slept with her ex... So he broke up with my best friend, and now she wants nothing to do with me (for their breakup, not kissing her ex). So I'm curious what I should do in this situation... My man talked to the one who kissed me, and he said we didn't have sex... I have no idea if I can be forgiven or not, or if I'm in a situation where forgiveness is even an issue... But I really, really like this guy and care about him a lot.. I regret letting that kiss happen. Do I give him time to cool off and hope we can work things out down the road? I don't know what to do.

ANSWERS

To me, it sounds like neither of you are at a place for monogamous commitment to anyone. Let the guy you're 'kind of seeing' have some time to blow off steam, give him lots of space. You're not married or seriously tied to one another so you don't owe him anything. You're causing unnecessary stress by trying to figure out how to convince him of your regret for past behavior you can't change anyway.

If he decides it wasn't a deal breaker for him, then he'll come around and seek YOU out. Don't go chasing after him. Focus on yourself for now. Things will run their course how they're meant to.

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