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Why can't I just give him space

Published on January 31, 2013 by abey5

Me and my partner have not had a smooth relationship but I'm desperate to make it work as when we are good nothing is better. We have been arguing a lot recently and he has told me he isn't happy at all, that he wants to make it work but that we both need space to work things out.

I have already messed this up, calling, asking questions, nagging for time lines and answers. He has told me I need to stop and that I'm making it worse. I know the right thing to do is to leave him- as I know I need time too. I have become too dependant on him and our relationship and I need to learn to be strong.

But I just cant do it, I feel like I'm going crazy, i hate the waiting and I'm worried by my behaviour the past few days there's no way he will want to remain together.

Have I messed things up allready?

Or is it worth really trying to give him what he needs. I feel so weak it's been a few days and iv been clingy and dramatic. I was once so independent.

I want to show him I want the arguments to stop and to start again- but he said he has heard it all before. I'm not the girl he met.. But I am desperate to get her back.

I'm scared this is it and the break is just dragging it out.

Any advice?

ANSWERS

I think you should find a support group. I am going through the same thing, my husband is going through a mid life crisis. He wants space. Although it is difficult after 23 yrs of marriage, I have to give him time to think and reflect. So in order for me to get on with life I have signed up for Divorce Care and meet with a group of ladies weekly. I keep myself busy. I don't know if this is the right approach but I am putting forth the effort. Either he will decide to move on or i will or maybe he will want to work out our differences. I have personally decided to help myself. I have many unanswered questions that I just have to let go. It is NOT easy! Gain back your independence, self esteem, and confidence so that going forward you can be happy by yourself.

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