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what to do? how to feel?

Published on August 19, 2013 by wounded_child

So my ex and I were living together for almost a year, Ive always have had feelings for him. I slept with my best friend then my ex, I'm soon to be due and will find out who the father is but during this time I was confused as to who I wanted to truly be with because of the child. I made up my mind that I wanted to get back with my ex but he recently started seeing someone that he dated years ago. I'm the kind that doesn't know what to say till its too late. Ive wanted to be with him for the past couple months, he told me that he gave me chances. I'm very sadden by this I just want my family back. I'm feeling bitter because this happened last year with a different girl

ANSWERS

This is an important thing for you to figure out, because you will soon have a child dependent on you to make good decisions. You say that you don't know what to say until it's too late. I'm guessing that it's because you don't know who you are, you lack a solid identity, which is why you have had the back and forth in relationships, trying to find yourself. You need to do some self-exploration and begin to define yourself, rather than hoping someone else will define you. However, this is of course more complicated because of the baby, and that you are unsure of who the father is. Do you plan to get paternity testing? And once you find out who the father is, how will you handle that? After you have the baby, I strongly urge you to get on some birth control so you will not bring another child into this until you have gotten your life under control. I also think that your username is very telling: "wounded child." I suspect that you have some problems from your past that you have not come to terms with and that add to the confusion you feel and prevent you from knowing yourself. This is where therapy can be helpful, if not crucial. I hope you will find some counseling to help you, for your own sake, and your child's.

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