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What should i do?

Published on April 7, 2013 by gangster

I met a guy six months ago then i got pregnant now. He agree to raised the child but he only gives me the assurance of support but never a marriage.But he doesnt want me to tell anyone that he is the father of my child. He is once married but separated and has 3 children with his ex-wife. We had a good relationship together before but the thing is he keep complaining now. He easily get pissed off and irritated because of me.I am so confused what should i do? let him go or make him stay..

ANSWERS

Talk with a lawyer and make sure you lock this guy in on his financial obligations to his child - he sounds like he's already weaseling and getting ready to run.

In so many words the guy is being HONEST and saying he didn't expect this baby so soon after having casual sex. Nonetheless,from a mans perspective you should trust his word. He doesn't want to be bossed by your demands based on what you perceive he should do and how he should act. We should give him the benefit of the doubt even though you come on here and act like the victim to paint him as uncaring and unsympathetic to your feelings or needs to be ACCOUNTED for in marriage. You didn't meet at E-harmony with marriage in mind, remember , you guys met for sex...lol Whether its his finances, uncertainty, or feeling stuck without a choice he is entitled to feel the way he feels without judgement or using his past relationship with him having an ex wife and children. Yeah he might seem irritated with you because now you both have to TOLERATE each others personalities and characters to co-parent a child.You are now FORCED to hear each other opinions and that's what adults do, parents do, lovers do- whether married or not, so u got to get used to that. If he is saying don't tell anyone the child is his- it doesn't mean you should act like a victim because he is not claiming your child. You are not going to be able to "let him go or make him stay" because you can't control what he does. Unfortunately many a woman have tried to get pregnant to keep a man and control him and his views at the same time using the baby ss a pond in a game. You conveniently left out your age, so obviously your mature and knew sex without condoms is a risky act...lol, right? You had control of your body and your destiny as your right as a woman. You still need to prepare yourself to take care of the child with or without him. So I find it very peculiar and convenient for you to put his ex-wife/children etc in the mix when this has nothing to do with the choices you made not to protect yourself to prevent a pregnancy. Your first obligation is to obtain housing, food, and shelter for you and your child and if you have to go to public aid and tell them you don't know the father per his request then know you won't be the first woman who has done this. During which time, you can ask for him to pay for a private paternity test for your and his peace of mind. He doesn't want his name on papers until he is sure, whether that is for child support reason or whatever and that is a simple agreement communicated to you in advance, it doesn't imply guilt or a crime. In closing, I just hope you can stop acting so innocent about what he is saying to you because it appears you want him to claim your child with the government/state/city and to everyone and he is saying he is not sure 100% but so as not to placate or alienate you he is asking for a momentary reprieve until he find out where your head is or where this relationship is going. If your already challenging him he may have reason to be complaining and getting irritated not just with you but with himself

There is nothing she said that makes me feel he is ready to run, he clearly doesn't want his check garnished for another child(possibly) or does not want his name registered on any government forms linked to him. Women date men who are immigrants,bad boys or illegal aliens, or men with child support issues. Its not like he's forcing her to get an abortion

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