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The Other Woman....

Published on April 22, 2013 by lizanna90

I have been talking to a guy I met online for a year and a half now (never met in person, just Skype), he admitted that he was extremely intrigued by me, but intimidated by my virginity. We stopped talking for a good while (6 months) and I deleted him off of Skype because I didn't want to deal with it. I never stopped thinking about him and noticed that he viewed my online dating profile, so I went to his, and then he messaged me and we started up talking again, and have been talking since. He often takes gaps between talking to me and more than likely, I have to start the conversation. Recently, I discovered he had a girlfriend, and that was why he wouldn't add me to Facebook.... So, genius me decided to message him and told him that I want to meet him soon, and he asked me what we would do, and I told him in a vulgar manner that I wanted to have sex with him. We continued to dirty text all week, and at one point I asked him what he wanted from me sex or something more, and he responded, I want whatever we can have. I feel like he skirts around every question I ask him... but, I feel so strongly for him, and the last guy I was in a relationship with lied to me as well. He doesn't know I know, but I have hinted that I know, but I found out in a very facebook stalkerish way... I want to fight for him so bad. I just don't know what to do...

ANSWERS

Are you leading men on? I don't think many men are intimidated by a woman being a virgin, yet they are aware the tease can be annoying and aggravating when the lines get closer to being grey. I have a God sister that used her virginity in a very deceptive way and she did everything under the sun except for penetration. She even had the audacity to tell her boyfriend who became her fiance briefly before the break up that he could go have sex with other girls, then she also let him dry grind naked . It was no surprise when he told her he got a STD and then it devastated my god sister because she was informed by her gynecologist to get all the STD shots just to be on the safe side. I say that to say, your writing from a place where it seems your partially a virgin or wholly a virgin but your doing all the in-between or playing mind games with guys and just based on what you wrote it seems like my God sister and she was so hurt when she had to call off her engagement to this guy. Yet, all the games,deception and sexual innuendo can actually allow you to sabotage your own happiness. You can keep telling yourself your the victim, but you have more power in how your using your virginity to manipulate guys into believing what you want, and your heartache and pain will be self inflicted

The only time I mentioned my virginity was when I told him I was a virgin. I have never kissed or messed around with anyone before... I do regret that I have been a tease in a way, and I know he was frustrated about that, but it was because he wanted a naked picture from me and I did not feel comfortable giving him that (I am very overweight and have been burned by someone before). When I told him I wanted to have sex with him, I did not mention my virginity. I'm 23, and I have no care to be a virgin anymore.

Let me tell you something: being in a relationship and having been cheated on, it hurts a great deal.

Unless this man has broken up with his girlfriend, there is no reason why you should be pursuing him. If he has, then you should be straight-forward with him about having a sexual relationship and if he continues to avoid the question or is clearly trying to avoid the relationship, this guy is not the right one to lose your virginity too. If he is still with his girlfriend, then you need to stop talking to him because it is extremely inconsiderate, for lack of a better term, to the girlfriend and doesn't paint you in a very good light either.

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