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Single Mom with a new boyfriend

Published on March 12, 2013 by c-lu

This is a long one...my boyfriend, who is younger than me and does not have kids, and I have been together about 5 months. During the first few months he was very willing to come over and hang out with my 2 year old and I, understanding of my limited time. Now, I seem to be the one suggesting dates and making the effort. This past weekend, he opted to go out with co-workers on Saturday night rather than see me. I caught up with girlfriends and didnt mind, really. Except, he cancelled our plans Sunday morning since he was hungover. There have been several apologies and I forgave him for that. But I still am sick of "chasing" him. I'm a single mom! I should be chased. So, there has been no suggestion so far of plans for the weekend on my end. I'm prepared to not see him this weekend if he doesn't take the initiative to ask...I should mention, there has been no mention of love, though yes to future general plans. Ive held off saying I love you because I am scared to say it first. I know he cares and does small things, but Im scared that we are on two different levels.

ANSWERS

I think you are smart to realize your feelings in this relationship and to have the willpower to see if he will initiate plans.

If a person is interested in a committed relationship, they need a partner who is, too. It's really that simple, but because relationships mean so much to us, we tend to jump through all kinds of hoops trying to make things fit when they don't.

If this is the first time he has made you feel he is less interested, that's one thing. It's good to give things time to see how they progress. But if this becomes a pattern and it makes you unhappy, it's important to be able to discuss it to see if there is a solution that works for both of you.

Why not directly ask him? At five months into the relationship, you should be able to have an honest conversation with him.

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