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Should I fight or let go?

Published on May 14, 2013 by ashleynicole1024

Okay so here’s the deal. I’m completely and utterly in love with this man. Our relationship was complicated in the sense that we moved very quickly, too quickly, even. We date for 4 months. We met in October. Background story—> I am best friends with his youngest brother. I went to high school with his second younger brother. I was texting my best friend Justin, who is his little brother. I was working a concert at my church. Saw the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Noticed he had a tattoo on his forearm with his last name on it, so I texted Justin and told him. Well a you can imagine we met. I’m a very shy person when it comes to guys but with him, I was drawn to him. Well that night me and a few friends were goin to a haunted corn maze and I invited him. And ever since then we connected. He asked me out a few weeks later. Well here’s where it gets interesting. He moved in with me at my mothers a few days later. (Fast, yea I know). But everything was perfect. I was in school and he worked. Well we he lost his job. It didn’t bother me really. He got another job within a week or so. But I went with him to pick up his last pay check. His ex fiance had contacted his mother asking for his number. i initally said it was fine because im not the kinda girl to be jealous, i knew he loved me and she knew he had a serious girlfriend. well then they started texting all the tome wven late at night….it syarted to getto me but i figured i was being paranoid. The night before my friend texted him a picture and I wanted it. So while he was inside, not thinking, I went to look for it on his phone. I saw texts from his ex fiancé. They were all about how she never should’ve let him go. They still love each other and think about the times they shared. Well it seriously hurt me. I didn’t know what to think. So eventually I asked him about it and he said he didn’t love her like that but just as a friend. He’s always love her but not in love with her. Well I understood. We moved past it. It sometimes got brought up in arguments on both parts. We started getting a little too annoyed with each other. So he decided to move out and go stay with his mom for a while to take the tension out of it. There’s wasnt wnough space for both of our thoughts in one room. That was fine, it hurt like hell fr both of us but we managed. On the last nught he was there, i boxed up his stuff. we went to bed and i hear a knocking on my window, its my ex. he was so drunk. i had no contact with him what so ever. his number wasnt even in my phone. i told him to leavebit he tried kissing me. i finially got him to leave, despite he was so beyond drunk. The next day i told him about my ex showing up. he was upset with me for not waking him up but more upset at the fact he tried kissing me.Well my ex friend started bad mouthing me to him and said somethin bout the night my ex showed up. So he in turn broke up with me because he felt I lied to him. He wanted to stay friends, so we did, sorta. He had just started renting a trailer and his mom stopped by my house to talk. She told me to follow her over. Me and him hasn’t talked at all for about two days. So I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. But I went anyways. He found out I was there and was surprising okay but yet nervous about it. About two days later, I found more of his stuff. So I called his mom to see if I could drop it at her house and she told me to go to his house instead. Well I contemplated the idea. I baked some cookies and decided to head over. I showed up and at first looked a little irriatated. I didn’t turn my car off cause I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea then he told me to turn the at off and stay a while. So I did. Eventually we ended up having to take his brothers home but he was borrowing a spare bed of mine from our old house. So I rode with and got The bed then to drop off his brothers. He asked me on the way back if I wanted to stay for dinne and a movie. I said sure. We ate and watched the movie and he asked if my brother needed my car and I said no. So he told me to stay the night. I was very nervous but okay. He ended up asking me back out. Things were great!! But after two weeks, at the time I don’t notice, he started getting distant. He ended up breaking up with me at 5 am on valentines day. He said he met someone else. So basically yet not cheated. He emotionally cheated not physically. Well he started dying this girl two days after we broke up. They lasted a month. Now he’s dating another girl. Who has a kid. Life—> now me and his you best brother are still best friends and his other brother and I are actually closer. Me and his mom since the day we met have been like instant best friends. She calls me all the time and we got out for coffee or something. I go to her house and spend time with her. We are scary close. Well she give me so many details about his life. Since we broke up, he has stopped showing up for work everyday an will more than likely be fired. He has an outrageous attitude that makes everyone pissed. No one can stand to be around him. He is sooo not financially stable. He spends all his money on theses girls to staisfy them or something. He doesn’t pay his rent on time or all of it(he shares a house with his brother), not can he pay his truck note. It seems his life has gone downhill since we broke up. My life however in some ways went up. I got a good paying job, .90$ more than his lol. I’m getting my own place soon. But there’s something missing, HIM. He doesn’t sound like much now but the man I fell in love with is my everything. And I still see pieces of him in there whenI see him. Me and him are “friends”. So I see him every once In a while. We have a dog together that I take care of. I still have some of his stuff. But idk what to do. With every fiber of my soul I know he’s the one for me. I’m so in love with him even after everything. I can’t let go, I can’t move on even though I’ve tried. Some of my friends think I need to let him do his thing because it’s just a phase. He needs to experience others because he got too comfortable with me. They still think we are meant to be. When I see him, I can still see the fire and passion in his heart that he has for me. sometimes the way he looks at me isn’t any different from when we were together. People say tht when he looks at me when I don’t notice it’s a if we were still together cause he lights up. Idk if I should subtly fight for him and wait or give up? We recently had a comversation that makes this more urgent. We were both drinking this weekend and I asked him if he thought he would ever have feelings for me again? He told me it doesn’t cross his mind. He said that he doesn’t ‘want’ to have second feelings for me. But for some reason, though it hurt like hell to hear, I can’t let him go. It’s like god is telling em to hold on. My heart is telling me that In him I’ve found the one. I’ve found the man I my dreams. The love of my life. He truly is everything to me. I know this was long but without knowing our story how could y’all answer honestly. So opinions?? Please help!

ANSWERS

Life is not about "looking" its about living; so if you think you can wise up a man and make him responsible by allowing him to move in with you once you get your own place that's cool, but understand you may get frustrated more often than not when he blows his cash and he is not yet accountable, for some men are still selfish when they are immature and not responsible with their money- meaning each man has to learn how to be a man and usually a woman no matter how much she loves a guy CAN'T teach him HOW TO BE A MAN-things pertaining to his attitude,personality, character, or responsibilities will change only when he wants them to. No romance without finance-Just look at his history with other women and that can be a good indicator of how things will be with you

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