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should i break up with him or not

Published on May 5, 2013 by kaylahlegend

i ve been going out with a guy for 9yrs and every tine we had a misunderstanding even if he is the one at fault he never apologize even if i call him he will not pick the call nor call back till maybr a month or two before he answered my calls. nie am fed up of being treated like and i want ti break up with him. am i taking a wrong decision in breaking up with him. i dont know if he ever loves me or because of what he gains from me. pls help me

ANSWERS

You will never have a relationship with this man, and you should stop all communication right now. The standard advice for a person such as you is "plenty of fish", as in, there are many people out there who deserve good relationships, and you deserve a good one for yourself. I wish you the best.

This is hard, isn't it? When we come together, and stay together for years, we come to love our partner, even if they don't have good relationship skills. Yet we deserve to be treated with honesty and care. It doesn't sound like he is treating you with either honesty or care. Letting go is hard. It sounds like you know what you need to do. In adult relationships, it is our first responsibility to advocate for ourselves. Non-communication, or the silent treatment is a manipulation, it is abandonment of sorts, and it is not playing fair. It hurts. People can change, if they want to. If they have the capacity to be honest. If he will not look at himself, how can anything change? So it brings you back to you. What do you want, really want in a love relationship? Write it down. Are you getting it? Sometimes, especially as women, we stay with a partner because we are afraid to hurt him, instead of deeply caring for ourselves. Do what is in your heart. Be courageous. Love yourself. It does not help him one little bit to think his unacceptable behavior is ok. And you are deeply unhappy. If you would like to have a conversation about defining what you really want, or ways to courageously stand in your own corner please message me and we'll talk more. Good luck :-) Mari

When you've invested so much of yourself and your time with someone it's challenging to let go. It comes to asking yourself is this the kind of relationship you want to be in? Is this the way you want to be treated? Each interaction with have with someone teaches others how to treat us. Ask yourself what your relationship has taught him about how to treat you? If this isn't what you want, it's time to find the courage to make a powerful request and ask for what you want, then stand for yourself by doing what is needed to receive love and support you desire. You can't change others, but you can change yourself. And when you clearly know your own value what and what you want and deserve, you'll be able choose staying or going from a place of confidence.

Know the value that you bring to a relationship and do not allow your partner to take anything from you for free. If you are keeping tabs on who does this thing or that thing, you are in a crappy relationship. Split the sheets, sign up on an online dating site, and buy a wascally wabbit.

I wouldn't put up with that. Being part of a couple is all about mutual respect and it sounds like he doesn't have a lot of respect for you. You deserve better!

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