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My wife is having an affair

Published on May 15, 2013 by mizzike75

My wife is having an affair with a guy that lives 4 states away. She is an alcoholic and a nurse. This guy has put my name and number on gay craigslist post, he has texted me through some VTEXTsender threatening my family and kids. He has texted her through this same thing acting like he is me and he has texted my 20 year old daughter trying to act like me and sending her the most disgusting texts about her mother performing sex acts on her boyfriend in front of her. I don't have her families support and in fact her mom is in condoning her affair and doesn't care about her daughters alcohol problem. I have been to the police and they can't or won't track this guys phone number because he somehow uses a different number every time. He tells her it wasn't him that did it. He is 31 5 years younger then her and lives with his mom. She will very now and then come home and of course like an idiot I sleep with her and believe that she wants to work on our marriage. Only to find out that she meets up with this guy again. I have confronted this guy and he doesn't seem to care at all. She has lost two jobs in the last year because of the drinking. I love her with all my heart but don't know what to do. I have filed for divorce and have our 2 kids full time and she doesn't seem to care about them. She used to be the best mom and nurse and now she is this crazy person. She thinks she can fit into my 14 year olds clothes and she thinks she looks like she is 20. She used to be a very beautiful woman and can now see the drinking has taken its toll on her physically and mentally. Is there any chance to save my marriage or make her get help. I know shouldn't want anything to do with her but worry about her and when she is with my kids. I don't know why I can't let go of her. I have been with her since I was 22 so 16 years. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do and should I have hope to save my family and marriage.

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If I could offer any advise it would be to go to free meetings with Al-anon, which is a support groups for members of families to understand the drinker who is out of control(in so many words). Your wife appears to be trying to turn back life to a time where she had obviously felt she missed out on and its like a 40 year old rapper trying to get his youth back and "blow up in the industry" knowing full damn well its not going to happen. Your wife is trying to feel useful and needed again and this younger man has sparked her enthusiasm and optimism that she can start over(usually the grass is never greener on the other side but...)All you can do is get yourself into groups and don't ever try to lecture,preach or counsel an alcoholic when they are under the influence because it doesn't help- they forget everything you say the next day. you can stage an intervention and get people she respects,trust, and love to come together and if you have insurance you can tell her you will pay for Rehab. Unfortunately, if she is in denial and un-educated about the disease of addiction the disease will find a way to sabotage her getting treatment.Nonetheless, you have to prepare yourself for the inevitable- which means the marriage is doomed. Even if she goes to treatment and accepts it it doesn't mean that your marriage can be saved. They are two different things she may need counseling for. Your not gonna be able to guilt trip her into seeing what she is doing to the marriage is wrong because the disease is controlling her thought process.We love you man and will pray for you to keep the strentgh for your children, but be realistic about the fact that she doesn't seem to care about co-parenting and she doesn't care about getting help. The boyfriend is just a jerk, so protect yourself and the children by insulating them from further tirades and abuse, because surely she will be guilt tripping you about things in the past. Time to assert tough love to her and pull the mat from out under her feet because if she don't want treatment, then you have to let her go and accept friendship with her with restrictions

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