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My Boyfriend is Financially Supporting His Parents - Help!

Published on January 25, 2013 by worriedgirlfriend

I have a serious boyfriend of over five years now, and I am nervous about our future together. We love each other very much and we have a great relationship, but I am very concerned by his family's recent actions. His father has been unemployed for nearly two years now, and had originally asked my boyfriend to help contribute a small amount each month to household expenses after he graduated college and moved back home. My boyfriend was lucky enough to land a great job after school, and is able to help financially. Although the initial amount was fair (for example, it included his monthly phone bill and cable TV for his bedroom), his father has continued to ask for more money each month. My boyfriend has always given his father however much he has needed, with little explanation as to where exactly the money is going toward. I think it is very sweet that my boyfriend is so willing to help, but I can't help but feel that he is being taken advantage of. His father has not sought out full-time employment in the last two years, and always has an excuse as to why a full-time position is not a fit. He has also struggled with alcoholism for the last decade, and has made drunken comments that my boyfriend can "take care of his father" because he is "making so much money". His father has also been spending very irresponsibly. For example, while he is accepting money from his son and approaching two full years of no income, he is eating out and has leased two new cars in a two month period. Although his father says that they will be forced out of their home if my boyfriend does not help, his spending habits certainly do not reflect that of someone who has been out of work this long. My boyfriend and I are saving to get married and buy a house in a few years, and I don't know how to discuss this situation without offending him. I am nervous that this dependence will only deepen as the years go on, and ultimately sacrifice our wants/needs in the future.

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