Is it too late...?

Published on December 11, 2012 by roseyems13

So I work with this amazing guy and I've had the biggest craziest crush on him since June. Last week, I found out that I'm going to have to move back home with my parents for the semester, which is about 2 hours away from where I'm currently living. He happened to message me this past weekend to ask how I was and he said he's noticed that I've seemed sad at work lately and that he hoped I felt better. So, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to tell him what was going on in my life as well as tell him how much I like him. So I worked up the courage to do that and I sent the message telling him how I felt. He replied with a super long message saying that he had feelings for me starting in June and for months and months he wanted to talk to me more, but he didn't think I liked him back. He said that he had to make himself move on because he didn't think he'd have a chance. Anddd, he said he is currently in a relationship (with a girl from work--she started working at our job at the end of the summer, I think they've only been dating for a couple weeks now because I heard recently that she and her other boyfriend broke up, but anyways...) He said he was glad that we finally both got it off our chests because he would have always wondered and he said he would be very happy if we stayed friends even though I'm moving and that we keep in contact 150 percent and that he wants to get to know me better right now. In a way it makes me happy, but also I'm so frustrated because ALL that TIME we both liked eachother and if we could have just worked up the nerves to say something earlier, it wouldn't have to be like this. I just really have this intuition that he's the ONE, and I don't know what to do now. I care about him a lot and I want him to be happy but I just want him to be with me :( I know it sounds bad, but I just hope that other girl doesn't last. I hope that being friends and getting to know eachother better makes him realize that we should be together. Right now, it's the hard part. The waiting. The being patient. Because I know we have to potential to be great together and my heart is breaking right now because we waited too long. But I just know, it's NOT too late. Is it?

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On December 11, 2012, safire1023 said:

Okay, lets' just say you started dating a guy and he wants to get to know better--150% better--a girl who has a crush on him, and vice versa. Is that okay with you? That's what you call a player. That's a guy who is emotionally cheating on his girlfriend. Sorry, but he's not a prize. An emotionally mature, decent, faithful man would've answered you like this. "I can't believe I missed the signals. I had a crush on you, too, but I have a girflriend now." And then, he would make no mention of communicating with you.

Now that he's told you this, say that it's best that you don't keep in touch. Tell him you're goal is to have a boyfriend, and when you get one, he won't appreciate you communicating with a guy that you have a crush on, and that it's harder to move on from those feelings while staying in touch, not to mention frustrating.

Don't be a doormat, someone's second string, and a cat toy for him to bat around. And don't be fooled by his "I didn't know you liked me." Believe me, a guy always knows when you like him. You just have to face the fact that he's just not that into you, but likes the ego boost of you paying attention to him. It's time for you to move away from your crush on him for your own good. There will be a guy so crazy about you in your future, who will make you feel special every day. He's the guy worth investing your thoughts into. Good luck.

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On December 12, 2012, tanstaafl2 said:

The things we regret most in life are always the things we DIDN'T do - not the things we did.

If he is the kind of man you'd want to be with, he will not pursue you while dating someone else. If you want to be the kind of person YOU can live with, you don't want to be the man-stealer who busts up a relationship.

If you get a second chance at this guy, fine. If not, chalk it up as a learning experience and let the memory nudge you to action the next time you are feeling timid.

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