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Husband's sexuality

Published on January 25, 2013 by moonbeam69

My husband & I have been together 20 years. Recently, he has told me he is bisexual... even though he's never had anal sex. He has, however, experienced with a dildo. I have offered to wear a strap-on, which he seemed interested in, but he seems to avoid our purchasing one. I'm a bit worried. He says he is not sexually attracted to the man's body, but I have walked in on him watching gay porn. I'm beginning to believe my husband is gay & is either lying to me or himself. Opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

ANSWERS

If he's not attracted to a man's body 1) Why does he watch gay porn? 2) Why does he think he's bisexual?

How was your marriage and sex life before he made this declaration? If they were satisfying, I'd be inclined to believe he's not flat-out gay, (but he may be bisexual - as he said).

Regardless, start using condoms immediately (if you aren't already) - if there's any chance he's having sex outside of your marriage, you need to protect yourself against diseases he could bring home.

Not sure what all you can do, at the very least, it sounds like he's very confused (a bisexual man who's NOT attracted to the male body?), and you two need to have some very frank discussions and find out exactly what's up and where things stand. If you have children, I would not suggest saying anything to them until you've figured some things out.

I thought our sex life was doing ok. It has it's ups & downs. I just figured it was due to boredom with the same 'ole same 'ole, which is why we were SUPPOSED to discuss experimenting. He, of course, says "I don't know" when I ask him what does he want to do to spice up our sex life.

I'm really scared for my marriage now. I have recently found posts he made on craigslist. I went as far as telling him to move out, if he is so unhappy with his life. I was very calm when talking to him. He, on the other hand, was very irate. He outright denied the craigslist postings & swears he loves me and our family & doesn't want to move out.

I don't know what to do. I've seen the posts, comments, videos. All of which he denies. Why would he state that he's bisexual, but deny all the rest. He is flat out lying to me and I don't know why. I've given him his way out, but he refuses to take it.

I love this man with all I have, but sometimes I wish he would just leave. I do not want to share my husband with neither man nor woman. It's really his indecisiveness that is driving me insane!

Get into marital counseling (especially with a counselor who also has experience in sexual orientation issues) so you and your husband can explore and figure out what's really going on.

The flat out lying is intolerable and cannot be allowed to continue - a marriage can't exist if there is no trust. Tell him you'll work with him on these things, but he must NEVER lie to you again.

If he won't put any effort into making things work or if he continues to lie - you may have to end your marriage. Have a bit of patience, as this could just be his mid-life crisis stupidity, but set a definite limit and be ready to pull the plug if he won't try.

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